There are many things that could go wrong when it comes to dating a Cancer… He either gets quiet or goes cold, which leaves you confused and unsure what to do. You want to make it better, but how?
I very much want to help you avoid this situation! Your kind and committed Cancer man is definitely a keeper, so let me aid you in your quest. Keep reading to learn the five things not to do when a Cancer man is pulling away.
The 5 Things NOT To Do
Now that I’ve gotten your attention, you need to know that if your Cancer guy is overwhelmed, hurt, or angry, you need to back off and let him have some space. That’s first and foremost.
Below is a list I’ve put together for you so that you can make sure you don’t lose your Cancer man by due to a huge mistake! He’s full of heart, but he’s also one that will push you away.
Check out my list so you can avoid making him more upset than he already is. I’m going to help you get him on your side and pull him back in! Take a new approach that just may save your relationship with the Cancer man.
1. Don’t Bombard Him With Loads Of Texts
This is something that the Cancer man will not like it if he is trying to get some separation or alone time. To him, it would feel like you’re barging in on him. He isn’t accustomed to being chased after.
If you keep sending him lots of texts in a short period of time, he will think you are smothering him. That will only make him pull back more from him if he doesn’t just completely ghost you. It’s not a good thing for you to do.
He needs time and he needs to figure things out. He may have something happening in his life that has nothing to do with you and until he’s back on track, he needs to deal with it.
You could cause him to emotionally break down due to feeling overwhelmed. Don’t do that to him or yourself, because it will only cause damage when he’s trying to get a grip on things!
2. Don’t Ever Tell Him To “Deal” With It
If he is dealing with something that really bothered him or hurt him, the last thing you will want to do is tell him to suck it up. He is a very sensitive man. Cancer sadness is no joke.
Dating a Cancer man isn’t always the easiest, but if you tell a very sensitive guy to get over something, he will think you’re hard as rock. This is form of relationship sabotage that you will regret.
He wants respect, understanding, and care. When you’re not giving him these things, he will feel more than justified to not pull you back. He’ll let you go. It’s anyone’s guess if he will bother to let you know.
The Cancer man does not handle hard people very well. By telling him when or how to get over his current situation; will only make him want to kick you to the curb or go ice cold.
Remember that this guy is soft, gentle, and loving. How do you handle a tender heart such as his? Be warm and inviting with him. Get him to talk to you about his problems. Be his sounding board.
3. Never Insult His Family Or Friends
The Cancer man is protective over those he loves. If he loves you, then you’re included in this realm of protection even if that means protecting you from himself.
I know that sounds odd, but he does think in this way. He thinks with his heart and how he feels about things. That’s why he sometimes is overly emotional about situations.
He is born empathetic and knows no other way! When you think of him being like this, it’s good for you to learn how to be empathetic with him. He needs it and he craves it.
When you aren’t empathetic, he feels that you just don’t understand him and he doesn’t know how to talk to you about what is going on. This definitely makes him insecure enough to just pull back into his crabby shell.
If you ever insult someone he loves because you don’t get along, don’t agree with them, or just don’t like them, then he will have a HUGE problem with you.
It’s often best for you to keep your catty comments to yourself. That will eliminate him icing you out for having said something unnecessary. Just remember to watch what you say to your Cancer man in love!
4. Avoid Teasing Your Cancer Man
There is a difference between joking with him in a fun way and flat out making fun of him. There is a fine line for him, so you need to figure out what that is.
Insulting him in any shape or form will cause him to cut you off. It’s up to you as far as how long that may last. Apologizing once you realize it was the wrong thing to say may help you.
I understand how things sometimes slip out, as my clients have written in many time about their upset Cancer man. They apologize to their guy and he typically will come back around unless it was really bad.
I wouldn’t try doing this multiple times though, as he will cast you out or run away from you. He doesn’t like to be messed with. He is insecure and certain comments will hurt him more than you can imagine.
When you two are in a good mood and are laughing, then you can make jokes and let him know “just kidding” then on harm is done. Just be careful with this tender guy!
5. Don’t Chase After Him
A Cancer man love is wonderful to have, but you have to be patient with him. If you try to push him or make him love you, then you may find it will actually backfire. He wants to do things in his own time.
All Cancer men are different. Some will fall in love fast and some like to take their time. If he’s told you he wants to take it slow then you need to abide by his wishes.
When he’s begins to not answer you right away or doesn’t reply at all; he may very well be pulling back to see what you do. Yes, he is testing you. If you keep trying to reach out multiple times a day, he will not respond.
Going by his house to confront him won’t go over well either. He’ll see this as an intrusion. Try to see it from his point of view. He wants to be your man not the other way around.
Let go a bit. Give him time to miss you. He cannot miss you if you’re always around or reaching out! Furthermore, he wants to be the one in the lead, not you. Back off and let him come around.
Read next: 7 Ways To Get A Cancer Man To Open Up And Become Emotionally Available
Final Thoughts
I do hope that these five tips (warnings, really!) help you to do the right thing with your Cancer man. Instead of accidentally pushing him away, you can draw him back in with empathy and understanding.
This sensitive man just wants to be loved, and he needs a bit of space sometimes. It’s not bad to give him attention of course, but when it becomes smothering, he wants to withdraw into his shell.
Honestly, it shouldn’t be too hard to make your Cancer man happy. Look, he may have pulled back from you for a reason and until you know what that is, you need to hold off.
Take the time to let him know you care and that you are there for him if he wants to reach out or talk. He will appreciate this sentiment as long as you can restrain yourself from worry and trying to reach out to him.
Trust me when I tell you that he will absolutely reach out to you when he is ready or when he wants to talk. He won’t hide forever. Of course, if you two did sort of break up then the results could vary based on how he feels.
Just try to remember why you fell for him in the first place. Be sweet and gentle with Cancer man’s love.
Have you successfully recovered your relationship with a Cancer man? What did you learn about his cold behavior and what the right thing to do was? I’d love to hear all about it.
Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).
Wishing you all the luck of the universe.
Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,
Anna Kovach
19 thoughts on “5 Things NOT To Do When A Cancer Man Is Pulling Away”
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I am in love with a cancer man but he has an explosive disposition and lashes out at me physically,, I am beginning to feel like I am not in love with him anymore,, a man that loves a woman shouldn’t be hurting them,,,
Hi Linda Materi!
June 21st indeed is Cancer. If he is lashing out at you it’s because he has his own problems and is projecting them onto you. You’re the target. You’re correct a man in love shouldn’t be hurting their partner but he’s got bigger issues that need to be handled himself. If he doesn’t then he will remain the same and honestly many men project because they are narcissistic. His pain is hard to cope with so he projects it instead of working to heal himself. I am so sorry you experienced that sweetheart. Not all Cancer men are a mess like this. I wish you all the very best!
My man was born June 21st so he is not a cancer
You have helped me understand my Cancer man alot! Although my hot headed impatient Aries self almost sabotaged it recently, your advice helped me to pull him back to me. He was pulling away recently, mostly because of work but I asked him a question regarding our relationship just for clarity, then he ghosted me for days??♀️. I even thought at one point he blocked me and I became offended and livid. So I messaged him an insult with a common vulgar dismissive phrase. He responded to that though, which was weird, initially very calm and dismissive of my anger then he grew more inpatient with me as I informed him of his rudeness to not respond to me and how it hurt me. He apologized, although only to never respond to me again for 2 whole weeks!
SN:Nothing anyone could ever say to me can convince me that ghosting someone is normal and acceptable. I believe, be a grown man and tell me outright what the problem is, so we can either fix it or just move on to someone else.
I took a few pointers from you Anna and apologized to him for my impatience and insult to his character and promised that I would be a lot more patient with him and let him know how much I care for him. After 2 weeks of not hearing back from him, he messaged me that he missed me too. When I asked why he hadn’t called me or texted me this whole time if he missed me, he simply said, “because you pissed me off”.
He was pissed at me for 2 whole weeks, plus he also said he was busy with work.
Our communication is back to normal. I even asked his advice on something I know he knows alot about, now he’s helping me with that. ? Thank you Anna! ?
Hi Yolanda!
Oops well I’m glad you figured out that apologizing as you did that he would speak with you again. That’s fantastic! Now communication needs to remain open and honest between you so that you can make this last. I’m thrilled he is helping you with things as well. What a blessing! Blessings to you and if you ever need more advice, check out my book “Cancer Man Secrets” for more information.
It is absolutely true all I’ve read I’m impressed with it I’m very happy bout it
Hi Veronica Velasco!
Thank you so much for chiming in with your positive feedback. I am always so happy to hear that things are going well or that my clients are able to relate to things I share. It’s women like you that make my job worth it. Blessings sweetheart! If you ever need anymore advice, check out my book “Cancer Man Secrets”.
Hi Anna,
Thanks much for the information
What was said by you I found it to be quite true
Hi Andrea!
It’s wonderful to hear your lovely feedback. I really appreciate it! I love hearing that my clients are getting the most out of the articles. I tell you what though, if you want to read more, you should check out my book “Cancer Man Secrets” as it reveals that much more insight for clients like you. I wish you all the luck of the stars!
Thank you so much, it makes perfect sense.
Dear Anna.
My cancer man likes to call me several times a day. Yesterday I had a girlfriend over and forgot my phone in the bathroom. My girlfriend needed help with a project and my attention was focused on her. About 6 pm after my friend had gone home, my cancer man burst in thinking I lying dead on the floor because I hadn’t answered his calls or called him to see why he was late. I found my phone and explained but he went to bed early and is being cold. I was loving and listened to his frustrations this morning but he isn’t happy with me. Help.
Susan
Hi Susan Cadwell!
Sounds like he has insecurities and trust issues. That’s on him though, not on you. If you explained to him what happened and he still can’t get with the program then he needs to figure himself out. You didn’t do anything wrong here. Tell him that you were being loyal to him and just because of the confusion, he shouldn’t be angry with you for helping your friend. If you want to learn more about Cancer men, check out my book “Cancer Man Secrets”.
Hi Anna, here is one for you. I met a Cancer man at a party and it was pretty much love at first sight. He told me to save his number as ‘future husband’, and I actually thought that myself when I met him.
He’s a Cancer who was 7 months separated from his wife of 17 years, and going through the messy paperwork of it all. There is a 10 year gap between us.
He was very full on at the start, always calling, texting, wanting to see me. I was coming out of a 13 year on-off relationship, so was a little hesitant. However, he continued to pursue, saying all sorts of full on things about our future. I met some of his closest friends, spent heaps of time at he’s place, but no family. The chemistry was instant, attraction was palpable, and the intimacy very natural. We had a couple of miscommunications in the first month or so, but they were always fixed by me just going to see him and us reconnecting.
Then out of nowhere, around 3 months after ‘seeing’ each other (we never spoke about labels) he got annoyed at me and told me that he didn’t need ‘negativity and drama’ in his life and that I should play my games with someone else. I let him be for a week or so, and then reached out after he’s grandpa died. Then another week after that, I tried to call him. He didn’t answer, but then we had a texting conversation for 3 hrs. He was pretty short in his replies. Since then, I have texted him once per week for the last two weeks, and he replies once or twice, and then just disappears. What happened here?
I know this was definitely something special, but I’m not sure if the shortness of our ‘relationship’ combined with his divorce might mean that no matter if I follow your hints, he won’t be back.
I am also a fiery Leo.
Hi Asha!
It sounds like he has other things outside of the relationship causing him turmoil. This makes him retreat into his shell. It certainly makes him moody and want to pinch you with his sharp pincher. He doesn’t mean it. I don’t know what happened that he would tell you that he doesn’t need the drama. Clearly something was bothering him. Family deaths send Cancer into spirals. They can’t properly deal with other aspects of their lives when they are grieving. Give him some time sweetheart. Be patient with him and be kind. He needs a tender person lifting him up. Don’t talk about your relationship troubles with him for awhile. Keep it simple and optimistic. I think once he gets through all his mess, he’ll be ready to focus on love again. Don’t give up until your gut tells you to.
Hi there, i am a married woman who fell inlove with a cancer guy. When he first saw me he immediately wanted to talk to me but then he found out i am married, i never knew this until i told him the other day. I decided i am going to tell ask him how he feel about me and he said he never got to develop feelings for me as he found out that i was married within the first hour we met..i am confused as we spent 3hours talking about this then he told me he is inlove with someone else and wants to get married..i felt bad and then when i told him i had to go he didn’t want me to leave he was enjoying my company alot and do not want this day to end. I had to go, so he told me he would love to meet up like this more..i told him that maybe someday when i was free we could be together who knows then he said if we only knew what the future holds..when we departed he told me he will definitely be talking to me alot more from now on..the next thing i know he is quiet and he tells me that he do not want to talk about this topic again, he fears it is making him feel uncomfortable.
We can talk about church matters but not this…i am so confused because i picked up that his body language toward me before and his eyes was dilating once, but he says that there is no feelings for me just he loves me like a sister even though at first sight he was interested in me
I am a virgo and really enjoy his company..but i cannot and will never leave my husband and cheating is not an option..but i just really want to know how he really feels about me.
Hi Chrissy!
I think that as a Cancer man, it didn’t sit well that you’re married nor did it sit well that he has someone else he loves. He knows it’s impossible to have anything with you other than friendship. If you will never leave your husband then it shouldn’t matter what any other man thinks of you unless you have an open marriage. Cancer men are complicated and though they can seem like players sometimes, they are not always the best at juggling women. He most likely thought it all over and decided he didn’t need to be talking to anyone else as he truly loves the woman he’s with. I hope this is making sense sweetheart. I do with you all the very best in love and in life. You deserve it!
Thank you it makes sense yes, as he told me it would be unfair towards his girlfriend, if he told me he had feelings for me..and it would be unfair if he had to wait for me to see if i will be free oneday..i will continue to be a sister/friend to him.