Is your tender and sweet Cancer guy holding in a hidden side? Has he already shown you his less savory tendencies? Are you worried that you’re in a toxic relationship with a Cancer man?
As a Relationship Astrologer, I can provide for you some of the tell-tale signs that your Cancer lover is creating a toxic environment within the relationship… and how to handle it once you see the truth!
Keep reading on for your guide to navigating the mine field of toxic love and making it into a sunny a meadow!
5 Signs That You’re In A Toxic Relationship With A Cancer Man – And What You Can Do About It
1. He Holds Ancient History Against You
Cancers are ruled by the Moon, and the Moon is the mother of memory. This means that in the eyes of Cancers, the past is just as important as the present moment. This can create someone with a great respect for family legacy and wisdom of elders on one hand, but it can also create someone who simply won’t let things go.
This is a toxic trait, because Cancers are so stuck in the things that you may have done in the past that they don’t give the current you a chance anymore. This can have you feeling like you’re always defined by past mistakes even though you may have done a lot of work to overcome flaws.
In the case that your Cancer is unable to let a past indiscretion settle, it’s important to remember that your past does not define you and if the Cancer man is still allowing it to then you have a problem. You can tell him that it’s important that he recognizes your growth, first and foremost.
If he is still stuck on the past, then it may be time to give him an ultimatum: move on like I have, or I’ll move on from you!
2. He Doesn’t Give You Room to Breathe
Cancer’s top concern is stability. This is shown through their love of the home, where they can keep everything that makes them feel safe within arms’ reach of where they stand. Knowing that what the love is safe and secure under their loving gaze makes them feel content. But when it goes too far, the Cancer is at risk for becoming toxic.
This can occur because the Cancer will feel the need to pressure their loved ones to stay safe and secure by their side… no matter what the loved one has to say about it. This can keep their loved ones feeling torn and asking themselves “Do I go my own way and follow my heart, or do I stay by my Cancer’s side to make him feel safe?”
In reality, a loving relationship should allow for freedom and trust. A Cancer does not have inherent trust that their lover will return to them, and so their methods to keep them close get out of hand. The best thing to do in this case it to remind the Cancer that even if you must stray for a while, you will come back.
3. He Won’t Communicate
Cancers are ruled by the private and empathetic Moon which inclines them to bottling their feelings up inside. This can leave the lovers of the Cancer either totally unaware that the Cancer is suffering (while the Cancer simultaneously blames them for not asking what’s wrong with them) or they sense the discord within the Cancer and naturally blame themselves.
This creates a relationship which may seem okay on the surface, while one or both parties are secretly stewing with no sign of getting real and honest any time soon. This can leave both parties coming to silently hate the other for reasons they can’t even put their fingers on. Yikes!
How can you avoid this pitfall with the Cancer man? Reassure him often that he can feel free to talk to you without judgment and that his honesty won’t upset you. And then be patient. Cancers do not change on a dime and it goes against their natural tendencies to open up. Every time you do catch the Cancer opening up, notice it, and praise him for his effort.
4. He Makes You Responsible For His Emotions
Cancers are incredibly sensitive. If you’re in a relationship with one, then I don’t need to tell you that! He picks up on the slightest energy shifts and then takes them on himself, like all water signs do. They will find themselves feeling glum for reasons they are unsure about, but will begin to look for reasons why in other people.
This means that if work stressed you out that day, the Cancer is then blaming you for their bad mood! How does that work? The Cancer will subtly pick up on your inner change and then assume it’s them that caused it. As a defense mechanism, they then will say that it’s something that you did, even though in reality you consciously had very little to do with it.
Sound confusing? Such is the life of the water sign. They are so acutely sensitive to energy and it’s so overwhelming to them that they project this discomfort outside of them.
The best way to treat this is to assist in asking the right questions to lead the Cancer to the real root of their distress. Perhaps they were taught that seeing someone upset led to being punished and so they react as if you’ve already punished them. Or maybe you can ask them if they’ve had enough healthy food to eat that day… the Moon rules our appetites!
Read next: Can You Trust A Cancer Man? 7 Ways to Tell
5. He’s Manipulative
Perhaps the Cancer’s worst toxic trait is being manipulative. The Cancer often feels powerless to the forces that surround them. People who feel powerless often turn to forms of manipulation in order to fenagle some of that power back from those around them, whom they perceive to be in control of their moods, ultimately.
This means that Cancer may throw pity parties, resort to guilt tripping you, make idle threats, or intentionally blow small problems up. This can leave their partner feeling at the mercy of the Cancer’s moods and actions, which is totally unfair and mentally draining for the partner of the Cancer.
After you’ve had some talks about how this behavior makes you feel, it’s important to not tolerate this behavior for long after. Give sufficient time for the Cancer to implement changes after you bring this to their attention, and then if they don’t come through, it may be time to move on to a healthier relationship.
Have you dated a Cancer man? Did any of these toxic traits rear their ugly heads? Let me know in the comments below!
Want to learn all of the hidden secrets and techniques to attract and keep a Cancer man? Pick up my book Cancer Man Secrets to learn all of my insider techniques! You can check it out right here.
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Wishing you all the luck in the Universe,