Is your Cancer man hot and cold and you have no idea what to do about it? You might wonder, are Cancer men players? These are just some of the questions I often get from my clients when dealing with a Cancer man.
These guys are extremely complex in that their nature is extremely sensitive, emotional, and moody. It can be quite difficult to understand where these guys are coming from.
They can be so confusing that you might even think that there is something wrong with you. But never take what a Cancer man does personally, it is usually his own stuff he is carrying around.
This is a subject I can talk about for hours and hours, so if you want to dive deeper and find out more about why is a Cancer man hot and cold, then keep on reading.
6 Reasons Why a Cancer Man Goes Hot and Cold
Cancer men are VERY flirtatious. They are notorious for getting many women interested in him as he’s charming, sexy, and knows what to say to get attention. This is natural sex appeal.
He’s already good-looking so this draws a woman in but then he starts laying on the “nice” comments and making himself seem like he’s interested. This can at times; be a game he is playing.
Sorry to say but; Cancer men are game players that can manage to hurt women unintentionally. He normally wouldn’t try to hurt anyone. However; he doesn’t understand that when he is “too nice”; he leads women on.
He doesn’t get it when a woman becomes very upset with him for not having followed through with all the flirting he was doing with her. He thinks maybe she shouldn’t have bought too much into it.
The thing is; she might not have been that into him if he hadn’t laid that charm on in a thick layer. He needs to learn to be more conscious of leading women on when his general intention isn’t as such.
When he’s into a woman though; he’ll lay it on that much thicker. He’ll go all out to make the woman feel as though she’s the only one in his world. However if she sees how he talks to other women; she’ll question his honesty.
To be honest; Cancer men are very emotionally driven people which can make them moody. They change moods like they change underwear. You never are really certain which mood you’re going to get each day.
This can make him swing from being happy and in love to feeling despair and that things are not going the way he wanted. Then he may go back to being so in love that he can’t think straight.
His feelings are almost like being Bi-Polar. He doesn’t often know what mood he’s going to be in either. This makes him constantly question himself, his devotion, the woman he cares for, and whether or not the relationship is worth his efforts.
If your Cancer man has gone cold out of the blue; wait a little while and see if it changes again. If it’s his mood; he’ll likely get himself back together and be normal again. Try not to jump to any conclusions.
However; if he seems to really pull back; there may be a bigger issue than just his mood and it would be worth talking to him to find out what is going on. That is; if you can even get him to open up.
Scared of Relationships
Naturally, if a Cancer man has been horribly emotionally wounded; he will react when he gets too close to someone. He will especially do this if he’s gone into a relationship far too quickly.
He’ll suddenly realize he went too fast and doesn’t really know what he is doing nor does he really know the person he got involved with. This freaks him out and he starts going backwards.
Some of them will even try to get their new partner to go back to being friends for awhile while they get to know each other better. This isn’t fair to the woman and is very confusing for sure.
My best advice here is to make sure you take your time with a Cancer man. Don’t let him go to fast because if you do; this could very well happen to you then you’ll be the one writing in asking why he’s doing this.
He gets excited and he is in love with love itself. So the prospect of falling in love with someone new turns him on and is why he easily falls into a relationship when he should really take his time.
If he is gently reminded that it’s best to pace the relationship so that it can grow in a healthy way; he’ll abide by it and he’ll learn from it. He may even keep to it without ever going cold.
The bottom line with the Cancer man is that his habits need to be observed. You need to take it slow with him. Be nice and easy and you could prevent a disaster. Don’t assume that because he’s flirting or being nice that he likes you.
The Relationship Is Moving Too Fast
As is the case for most people; if you move too quickly; you’re likely to end up figuring out that you’re not in love; you’re in infatuation. Cancer man is a romantic and it’s easy for him to “fall in love”.
The problem is; he may not actually be in love. He feels something new, wonderful, tempting, and enjoyable. This makes him want to dance circles with his new partner into the night.
Once he starts to get to know this partner he jumped in so quickly; he’ll start to see that maybe she isn’t all that he thought she was or that she’s just different. This can either lead to deeper love or it could lead to fear.
His fears of “maybe I’m not good enough” or “she’s not what I’m looking for” steps onto the scene and it makes him start to retreat into his shell. He knows that he was too hasty and yet he isn’t sure how to handle it.
While he’s trying to figure it out; he’s going to clam up, stop being as affectionate, perhaps stops trying to make plans, or says things that indicates he’s unhappy with his life. He may not be direct as far as not happy with you.
Whatever his motive if it’s fear or if it’s regret for not having taken it slowly; he’ll not know how to cope with what he’s done nor whether he wants to continue with it or break up.
He Isn’t Really Interested In You
Though a Cancer man can get caught up romancing a woman; he can also realize what he’s doing is probably not the right thing if he knows he won’t commit to this person.
Many Cancer men are players until they’re ready to settle down. Therefore they’ll go ahead and charm as many women as they can. The problem with this is that the women become more invested in him than he is in them.
When he realizes that is going on; he’ll sort of freak out and in attempt to not hurt anyone; he’ll just decide to back down or out. He’s not the best at being forthcoming or honest with what he’s really doing.
If you find that he was laying it on thick and then suddenly ghosts you; it’s possible that he was just trying to see what you were like and what he could get from you then moved on.
This particularly happens if you dive into bed with him right away. Beware, Cancer men are very hard to resist in the bedroom. They’re genius when it comes to seducing a woman.
When a Cancer man loves you truly; he will stick around and not give you the “cold shoulder”. That’s how you can tell if he wants you or if he is only in it temporarily; if it all.
There Is Another Woman
I hate to even go here but it can and does happen with the Cancer man. He’s always on the lookout for “the one”. Even when he has her; he often doesn’t really 100% realize it.
He’s so busy looking everywhere else that he doesn’t realize that “the one” is someone he chooses to be. He’s looking for specific qualities and unless he feels 100% committed to someone; his eyes are still checking out other women.
Some Cancer men will even go through the trouble of having an affair if they think someone else may be what he’s looking for. Naturally 9 times out of 10; they aren’t and so they try begging their way back in with their partner.
They realize that the grass is NOT greener on the other side. His partner however; is now left trying to figure out if she should give him another chance or not. It’s different in every situation but still not a fun situation to be in.
If your Cancer guy has found someone else he is thinking may be the right one for him; it certainly will make him shut himself off from you. This includes the standard, no calls, no texts, no social media, etc.
He Is Confused About His Feelings
It could be that your Cancer man has been deeply wounded before and so he’s overly cautious. He falls in love, he becomes terrified, he starts to feel safe and good then he freaks out again.
This could go on multiple times before he finally heals what ails him then is able to move on as well as forward with the partner he’s with. So if you noticed he’s like a yo-yo with you; it may be past baggage bringing him down.
If he keeps in contact with you; you may want to talk to him and tell him that you’re there for him. When he tries to ghost you; tell him how you feel about it, tell him how you feel about him and what you want in the relationship.
Ask him how he’s feeling about you, ask him what you can do to help ease his pain, and what he sees happening with your future together. It’s always best to open up and be honest with each other.
Cancer men want a secure future with someone. They are filled with fear even though they may seem confident and sure of themselves. They are fantastic actors and why they’re so good at charming.
If you KNOW he feels for you, make sure that he really wants to be with you by asking him. Don’t let yourself hang in limbo!
Read also: What Happens When You Ignore a Cancer Man
Are Cancer Men Players?
Taking into consideration how moody and up and down Cancer men can be, it is quite possible that the thought of a Cancer man being a player has crossed your mind.
It is easy to see why when he is acting quite inconsistently at times. But truth be told, it is very rare for a Cancer man to be a player. He is someone who wants to settle down with just one person. He is looking for his soulmate.
This man really wants commitment and to grow old with someone who he loves. When a Cancer man meets the right woman, he is all in and will give her everything she could ever desire.
He is definitely not a player, don’t you worry!
How To Handle A Cancer Man Going Hot And Cold? 3 Ways To Do It
It can be heartbreaking when you have fallen for a Cancer man and he has suddenly gone cold. You might not know what to do about it and this can be really frustrating and heartbreaking.
I have some useful guidelines you can follow on how to handle a Cancer man going hot and cold with you.
Be Patient And Give It Time
As you know by now, Cancer men can be extremely moody. Their emotions are up and down, much like the Moon which happens to be their ruling planet. They need to feel their feelings, it is so important.
However, if you are pressuring a Cancer man to give you attention or wanting to know what has gone wrong, you might actually be pushing him away and making him feel really uncomfortable.
It is so important that you be patient and give him time to sort out how he is feeling. It could be that the relationship has become too much for him and he needs a break.
Show him how understanding you are by being patient and giving the whole situation the time it needs. There is no point in rushing things.
Be Supportive And Understanding
When you notice your Cancer man going hot and cold it is important that you be understanding of him. You can’t take this personally or else it is going to drive you crazy.
Show him that you are understanding of him and that he might need space. Be supportive of what he needs and listen to what he is asking of you. If he needs space, give it to him.
He might be going through something, so it is important that you don’t put too much pressure on the situation. This will also make matters worse and you might actually push him away when all he needed was space.
Be Independent And Do Your Own Thing
It is important that you show your Cancer man that you have your own life and that you won’t allow his moods to affect you. Do what you need to do to keep your own sanity.
See your friends, go exercise, focus on your work, plan a trip, whatever, just so that you can take your mind off the situation and not let it affect you so negatively. This should help you to build better confidence and help you to get your hot and cold Cancer man to miss you.
There are some pretty clear signs when a Cancer man is in love with or, or if he only wants to be your friend. Sometimes a Cancer man will pull away when he has strong feelings for a woman. It might confuse you at first, but he is a lot easier to read than he might think. Don’t let him play you into believing that he isn’t interested in you.
My suggestion with a Cancer man is to always try to take it slow with him. Make him work for it because remember you are worth a lot more than you can imagine, so stick it out and see if HE is actually worth your time.
Show him your generous nature and how amazing you really are and that you aren’t going to leave him. That’s all that’s really required here. Soon he’ll realize that he doesn’t need to test you to gain your affection. Be your normal self and show him who you are on the inside. He wants a woman who is everything.
By everything I mean empathetic, sweet, caring, and secure. He wants someone he can trust to always be honest with him and yet someone who knows how to speak to his heart.
When he doesn’t speak up, respond quickly enough, or seem to disappear for a day or two, be patient. Don’t think the worst. Just send a text that lets him know you’re thinking of him and he should come running! If he tends to ignore your texts, learn about the number one reason a Cancer man avoids your texts.
When your Cancer man pulls away, DON’T do this…
I’ve heard from so many of my clients that their Cancer man is AMAZING when they are in person with him…
So charming, sweet, funny, and really connected!
But he can tend to pull away when you’re not with him.
It’s a super frustrating situation for any woman. And if you are like my other clients who have been through this, you’re probably feeling REALLY confused.
“Why is he so hot and cold through text?”
“Why does he back off when we aren’t together?”
And most importantly…
“What can I DO about this?”
First, I want to share the things you definitely should NOT do in this situation…
- Don’t get clingy or needy and ask him if something is wrong or beg to see him
- Don’t force closure if you’ve had some conflict. Wait until you can talk in person about important issues. Text can EASILY lead to miscommunication.
- Don’t assume that there IS a problem. He could just be really busy.
- Don’t let fear drive your actions. Assume the best and not the worst.
- Don’t chase him. Chase your dreams and goals instead.
- Don’t stalk him on social media. Give him space.
- Don’t get upset with him or freak out. This will only push him away.
- Don’t ignore him so he can “see what it feels like.”
- Don’t get needy, jealous, or beg for reassurance.
So what SHOULD you do instead?
- Take some time out to reflect on the situation and consider logical reasons for his actions.
- Date other men if you aren’t exclusive. Don’t lock yourself down with him if you aren’t yet in a committed relationship with him.
- Give him space and time with zero pressure. He might be overwhelmed with work or not be feeling well.
- Focus on your own life. If you don’t have an epic life filled with hobbies and time with friends or family, you need to build that. Your Cancer man should be the sprinkles on the cupcake of your awesome life, not the cupcake itself.
- Let him reach out to you when he’s ready.
- Be supportive. If you haven’t heard from him in a week (or a even day if you text every single day no matter what), ask if he’s okay. And offer to be supportive if he’s going through a challenging time.
- Communicate what your needs are, but avoid any blame or shame.
- When your Cancer man comes back, welcome him lovingly with open arms. If you are angry, he’ll want to run.
- When you are in person, let him know (kindly) the things that make you feel valued and adored.
Texting can be challenging, and I don’t want you to feel alone in this.
I don’t want you to lie in bed unable to sleep because you are worried about why your Cancer man is pulling away.
And there is no need for you to do that.
Especially when I can guide you on how to deeply connect with his heart through text messages…
Because when you know SPECIFICALLY what to text him based on his astrology…
He WON’T be pulling away anymore.
And you’ll never again have to worry about what to say to your lovely Cancer man through text anymore.
Go see what I mean here now so he never pulls away again.
Wishing you so much love and happiness
Your sister and relationship Astrologer