Cancer Man Testing You — How Does A Cancer Man Test You?

by Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer
What can be done when a woman thinks “this Cancer man is testing me”? Understand the Cancer man’s testing process by continuing reading this article.

You might think, “why is my Cancer man testing me?” and what can you do about it? Do you make him believe that he can get away with it, or do you do something about it and let him know that you’re not having any of it?

For all the lovely qualities Cancer men have, there is also a dark side to them that can really test a woman to her limits. This can be quite confusing because one moment a Cancer man might be the loveliest and most nurturing man out there, and the next he can be quite stroppy and manipulative.

If you have been questioning yourself “Why is Cancer man testing my patience?” and what you can do about it, then continue reading to find out all of his secrets and what his intentions are.

The Cancer Man – Testing The Waters

The Cancer man has a way of doing things to ensure that the woman he’s interested in is someone he can rely on, keep, and be happy with. This is part of why it takes him a while and also why a Cancer guy plays hot and cold.

In the beginning, the Cancer man wants to lure you in, so he’s going to flirt like crazy with you to make sure you get that he’s into you. He’s going to be super nice, sweet, and charming.

He may also try to get you into bed to find out if you two have some real chemistry. This is one of the tests. He wants to see what you will do, how you will respond, and if you’re someone he can see a future with.

He wants to get under your skin and make you really want him. Once he does this, he will then move on to the next battery of tests to see if you make the cut. Clearly, if you do it, you’ll be his next and possibly last lady love.

This sounds a bit unorthodox, I realize, but the Cancer man is one that loves to test just to be totally sure of what he’s doing and who he is with so that he’s not putting a bunch of risk on someone who isn’t right for him.

How Does Cancer Man Test You?

Are you losing your patience but having no idea why your Cancer man is taking things slow? If so, your Cancer man is probably testing you to make sure that you are the right match for him.

Let’s see how does a Cancer man test a woman, because knowing about these ways will help you to be more cautious and self-assured.

He’s Acting Overly Sensitive

This point ties in nicely with the previous point, but a Cancer man can be really, really sensitive. This side of him might not even be that conscious within him, but there seem to be some days where whatever you seem to do or say he takes so much offense to.

This is again one of the tactics your Cancer man uses to test you. He wants to see if you are willing to change the way you behave to make him happy. However, he needs to learn that his sensitivity and emotions are his own responsibility and he needs to figure out how to cope with these feelings productively.

It might not even be your fault, but he will conveniently blame you for something because he expects you to fix his problems for him.

Cancer Man Testing Your Honesty

The Cancer man will do things that bring out your vulnerability. He wants to see your heart to the core. His empathetic side will help him to assess if you’re being authentic or just telling him what he wants to hear.

He may bring up various emotional types of questions to see what you answer with or how you feel about it. He will watch your body movements and facial expressions, and listen to your words.

Trust me when I tell you that it’s nearly impossible to ever lie to a Cancer. If you’re falling for one, then you better keep it real. He will be able to sniff you out if you aren’t authentic in your approach.

He Will Test Your Communication Style And Love Language

While it may be uncomfortable for you, you’ll need to be open and talk to him. When he asks you personal questions, answer them. He’s asking for a reason that matters to him.

The more you open up to him, the more he will build trust for you and will return the favor by telling you about himself and his life as well. The Cancer man also wants to see if you’ll actually answer questions you wouldn’t answer for anyone else.

He seems to get pleasure out of you doing things for him or talking to him about things you would ordinarily keep under wraps. It makes him feel important and cared for when you give him this special attention.

Even though it may seem tedious and sometimes irritating, you need to talk to him. Communication is going to be a huge factor in your relationship with a Cancer man.

When A Cancer Man Is Testing Your Support Level

Another side of the Cancer man that will test you is his mood swings. He tends to have them often since he is so sensitive and empathetic. He may be in one mood one day and then totally different the next. I can even change hourly.

The thing to remember is how you respond to his mood swings. If you get angry or upset with him, he’s going to think maybe you can’t handle him when he’s at his worst and maybe you’re not the right one.

He may even purposefully act moody just to see what happens with you. He wants to know if you’ll be supportive and loving or if you will blow your stack and let him have it.

Be aware that he does these types of things and prepares for them. Even if it ticks you off that you haven’t heard from him for x amount of time since you last messaged him, text him again and indicate you would love to hear back from him.

It makes him think he’s won. At all costs, you must make him feel as though you’re passing all his tests with flying colors. I’m not telling you to be dishonest or not be who you are.

Clearly, if you are not this type of woman, then you need to be honest and he may not be for you. If he is the right guy though, you’re going to want to be your very best no matter what he throws at you.

Show him you are confident, independent, and strong yet sensitive to his needs. Don’t be a doormat, be his support system and rock. If you’re struggling with how to help your Cancer man in whatever he’s going through, then check out my 30-day Cancer Man Love Language. It will set you on the right path with your Cancer guy.

How To Flirt With A Cancer Man

One thing that really gets your Cancer man’s blood pumping is being teased by the woman he cares for. He loves it when a woman flirts with him by teasing him. He is quite into power play and the interesting dynamics that come with it.

You can do this in various different ways. Start off by sending him risky texts throughout the day, this will definitely get his heart racing and build a deep passion inside of him. This is quite effective to get him thinking about you all day. Show your Cancer man you know how to flirt.

Discover some more tips on how to flirt with a Cancer man over text <<

Cancer men are extremely sensitive creatures. These men have very high emotional needs, but that doesn’t mean they open up their hearts to just anyone. So, it can take some work to flirt with him. It actually takes quite a while for these guys to feel safe enough to love someone; they want to be 100% sure that they are making the right decision.

Falling in love is a big risk for him, and he needs to know that the risk is going to be worth it because he doesn’t do particularly well with heartbreak. When you flirt with a Cancer man, you need to be sensitive to his emotions. What he needs from you is to feel safe and secure in your presence.

A Cancer guy is looking for a woman who he can protect, but he needs to know that you are with him on this. He wants you to be the sanctuary he can depend on when life gets a little too crazy, and the person he can look to for comfort in the moments he finds difficult.

They want to build a bond with their partner that feels even closer than family. The woman in his life needs to feel like his home and his ultimate security. He doesn’t do well with conflict and chaos because he wants stability in his love life.

If you can be the unmoving rock in his world, then he will remain happy with you forever. When a Cancer man feels secure, his passion is unending and there is nothing he wouldn’t do in the name of love.

The Cancer Man Testing You — Final Thoughts

The fact that a Cancer man is testing you is simply borne from him being quite an insecure individual. He tests you because he wants you to prove your love to him and he thinks the only way he can get you to do this is by pushing your boundaries and seeing how far you are willing to go.

This is quite a childish way of going about things, but unfortunately, some men have a way to go and they aren’t that far evolved yet. You need to be patient with him and realize that this behavior comes with the territory of being with a Cancer man.

Show him your generous nature and how amazing you are and that you aren’t going to leave him. That’s all that’s really required here. Soon he’ll realize that he doesn’t need to test you to gain your affection. Be your normal self and show him who you are on the inside. He wants a woman who is everything.

By everything I mean empathetic, sweet, caring, and secure. He wants someone he can trust to always be honest with him and yet someone who knows how to speak to his heart.

When he doesn’t speak up, respond quick enough, or seems to disappear for a day or two, be patient. Don’t think the worst. Just send a text that lets him know you’re thinking of him and he should come running!

Read next: How To Get A Cancer Man To Commit — The Ultimate Guide On Cancer Man Commitment

Get Your Cancer Man To Fall For You In 30 Days (Or Give Up Forever)

Are you frustrated with how slowly things are progressing with your Cancer man?

Do you wish you had a magic ball to see into the future to KNOW for sure if he’s “The One” for you? Are you getting tired of trying to figure him out?

Well… I have fantastic news for you!

>> There is a simple system that takes only 30 days

And it will draw him to you like a magnet and get him to fall deeply in love with you… Or you will know for sure that he ISN’T your soulmate so you can move on.

This powerful program will give you everything you need to know for sure if your Cancer is your forever guy.

He WILL respond quickly to this approach if he IS the one for you. And if he doesn’t, you will know in 30 days so you don’t waste another single minute of your precious time.

Cancer men can be stubborn sometimes. And they can leave you waiting and wondering for a VERY long time!

I don’t want you to still be in a holding pattern with him a year from now.

This is EXACTLY what you need to get him to commit quickly.

And if he doesn’t… You’ll know he isn’t the right man for you and you can set him loose so you can find your true soulmate.

So no more waiting around. No more playing it cool.

Get your Cancer man to step up or move on. Get your answer in 30 days.




About Author

Hi, this is Anna Kovach. I am a professional Relationship Astrologer and author of dozens of bestselling books and programs. For over a decade I’ve been advising commitment-seeking women like you and helping them understand, attract and keep the man of their dreams using the astonishing power of astrology. Join over 250K subscribers on my newsletter or follow me on social media! Learn more about me and how I can help you here.

23 thoughts on “Cancer Man Testing You — How Does A Cancer Man Test You?

  1. Sometimes I feel he doesn’t love me … I do try to engage a conversation it turns out well and then boom he’s acting all weird, I call atimes and he doesn’t answer or text back…. Does he still love me like he use to?? Or he has found another??

  2. We started off fine and then it got a point where I try engaging a conversation it turns out well and then all of a sudden he acts all weird, I call sometimes he doesn’t answer or try returning my calls… Does he still love me like he use to?? Does he have another??

    1. Hi Ella!

      I think you should point blank ask him if he still loves you and if there is someone else. Sometimes you have to be forward and blunt. He needs to tell you and if he cannot tell you or tries to skirt around the issue then there is something he’s hiding which would be a red flag. You can decide from there if you want to continue with him or not. If you’d like a bit more information on the Cancer man, you should check out my book “Cancer Man Secrets”.

    2. I got mad today and broke up with him. We still new in this relationship I’m Scorpio, he just went silent on me, no text, no message, no call.

      1. Hi Pinky!

        Cancer men do this though. You’re a Scorpio so your mood swings and his can and will cause conflicts unless you two properly communicate. If you want him to talk to you then you need to reach out to him and tell him how you feel and why. He should message or call you back to explain himself. If he doesn’t and he stays quiet then he may not want to pursue things further. To get more tips from me, try reading my books on Cancer Man Secrets. It may help you get to know him more.

  3. Lol this describes a cancer man I just met down to a T! But I feel like I’m not the one for him sadly. He has gone days without texting me, and that can really frustrate me to know what’s going on with him. We just barely met and only hung out once but I don’t want to come off as really needy to him. I know he has priorities and so do I, but if you really like or are interested in a person then shouldn’t you just say it, instead of ghosting them for days or weeks?? He says really sweet things to me making me feel like he’s really interested In me, but not hearing from him for days can really throw off my feelings for him. I’m a Pisces woman and I need that communication ALL the time. I can also be patient too but only for so long then I’m taking the high road and moving on. When I don’t hear from him suddenly, then it makes me feel like he’s talking to or with hanging out with someone else. And I don’t want my time to be wasted. I know their are different guys out there who communicate different but if this cancer guy I’m into is exactly what this article describes then I don’t think I can handle it lol. It said to be honest with him and I think that is true. I’ve been holding a lot of stuff back and it wouldn’t be right to hold off any of my feelings just to please him. I matter to, and if he can’t compromise with me then we’ll just leave it at friends that’s it. But he’s really sweet and charming though. Either way, relationship or not, I feel like he’ll always be a friend to talk too 🙂

    1. Hi Britt!

      Be totally honest with each other and put it all out there on the table so you are both on the same page and can go from there as far as with you two will stay together or will end up as a friendship. Don’t stress about it. If you’d like a bit more information on the Cancer man, you should check out my book “Cancer Man Secrets”.

  4. im a virgo woman and Im in a new relationship with a cancer man. In our first month whenever we have arguments i notice some behavior that i didnt like from him which led me to think that it this relationship will not take long so i was already breaking up with him. which i just read here in this article. Ive seen his ugly side like i cant breath he is so over protected over react and like he was just setting it up for me then he suddenly confessed that he is just testing me just to see my inner self. For me this is so wrong cos supposedly the dating stage is done and we are already in a relationship. like how he could possibly doing it when all i did was to be my real self at all times with him. He end up crying and beg for me to come back reaching out to me everyday every minute like i feel he was really sincere to his sorry. then later on i found out he was still chatting with other females while im already exist so another issue to a bunch of females and even share some of them about me like we break up and i have some bad attitude. wtf. then he cried again and ask for forgiveness then promise me he will stop then he change behavior and more open up to me esp his phone i can always access now not like before and i didnt questions his actions from the start because he is more likely talking and planning about our future together and taking actions about everything i said. My confusion is. Is this good to continue a relationship like this? like i am wondering if sooner or later if he will get back to the things he did before he will cheat again ??? i dont want to say I DO soon with him he will still cheat on me please help

    1. Hi Mine!

      You really have to decide whether or not you feel you can trust him again after he’s shown you that he has the capacity to be dishonest. I don’t blame you for second guessing him but he must earn your trust back before you can feel comfortable. That’s for you to decide. If you’d like to learn more about Cancer man, please check out “Cancer Man Secrets”.

      1. I’m an Aquarius woman I dated this cancer man for 2 years the first 6 or so months of the relationship was really awesome very fairy tale like he charmed me after he got what he wanted he suddenly dropped off from that point on everyday seems like a game I didn’t pick up on it at first but after a while I could realize he was taking notes on everything I said or done if I didn’t say or do something right he would not talk to me or would avoid me we have a son together and when I finally had the courage to tell him he wasn’t surprised he seemed like he didn’t care didn’t or doesn’t want to take responsibility for him he broke up with me once in the second year of the relationship he took a week to think about his feelings to see if he really cared and then he came back I let him back in but that was a big mistake as he just played more games and broke up with me again we had some boo-boos in the relationship and I was always apologizing for my boo boos for my wrongdoings towards him but he never apologized to me for his wrongdoings I don’t know what he wants from me I love him or so I did as I have not spoken to him for a month my feelings for him are slowly slipping away for I am being turned off by him all together everyday I analyze the relationship in my mind it’s not healthy but doing so makes me see what was wrong and what went wrong on both ends can’t be with someone who plays games or does it know what they want he knows everything about me and he makes me feel the deepest regret I have ever felt in my life for giving myself away so hard for I thought he really loved me but I don’t feel he does forever did to begin with when analyzing the relationship I always realize that I just barely know him and we were together for 2 years and he always acted shady like he was hiding things like he was afraid of coming out and being himself he always wanted to talk about me and never himself really I assume that’s a red flag if so I should have taken that from day one if you have any conclusions please help

        1. Hi Miryah!

          With everything you say, he sounds like he has Virgo strongly in his chart somewhere. Perhaps moon or rising? What I will say is that with everything he keeps putting you through, he doesn’t love you. If he did then he wouldn’t play head games or jerk you around. I think you’ve assessed things pretty well actually and you probably should move on. Not all Cancer men are nutso like that honey. I hope you find the happiness you deserve!

  5. I was a relationship with a cancer man for maybe 6 months.. yeah the most beautiful moment in my life. He chased me so hard and made it clear since the beginning. We shared everything in our life and if we had fights he always wants to resolve it before we’re going to bed. Its so beautiful and memorable months in my life because we already open up about almost everything and also healing and supporting each other, until we know about each other feelings, each other needs and could guessing what me or him doing even we haven’t see each other that day. Its until weeks ago he started to give a test to me. Yes, in a sudden he told me to “wait for him” and stop contacting me for a week only after a little argument – only because I didn’t reply his texts for hours because of my busyness. I know all about how sweet and nice he is, but i just can’t if he ignored me like that.. Whether its because he was upset or he was testing me, he CHOSE to hiding on his shell rather than speak up to me, so we could clear our problems before we go to bed – just like he always did before. I’m a Virgo and i know this is the hardest decision i ever made to say goodbye to him, because only him who could made me that I finally found the one ?

    1. Hi VirgoGirl!

      It does sound like he wants to test whether or not you’ll leave or if you’ll stay around and be reliable for him. He sounds insecure and needs reassurance from you. That’s a pretty accurate thing with the Cancer man. I’m glad you feel you’ve found the one but there is always more to learn! If you’d like to learn more about Cancer man, please check out “Cancer Man Secrets”.

      1. Hello,

        I have been friends with a cancer male for 15 years. We have had an on off relationship as I expressed that I was interested and he wasnt but at the same time we had been pursuing another woman. Last year he told me things were def off with this other woman. We both became very close. Messaging every day and meeting once a week. Things became physical and we ended up sleeping together a few times. After the last we went quiet and told me he needs to reconnect with religion. Since then we have been distant and he refuses to see me. He tells me he has many reasons to be with me but not enough and doesn’t tell me why he doesnt want to be with me. I dont want to question him too much. I also feel he has not got over his ex. Is this my que to just let him be?

        1. Hi Adriana!

          It sounds like this guy has all kinds of excuses to get close and then pull away. First of all if he was with another woman instead of you then he doesn’t think you’re “the one” and doesn’t have the guts to tell you. Instead he was available again and decided to be with you again but then still doesn’t feel this is the right relationship and instead of having the courage to tell you, he’s pushing you away with religion. I think you should probably leave him alone from here on out. Try to focus on yourself and your needs so you can stay open for someone who wants to be with you 100%. I wish you all the best!

  6. Hello. I haven’t known my cancer man for that long but I can say that most these qualities really define him lol.
    I met him online and we really clicked. Like he says so much sweet things to me and we talked almost everyday (facetime too, but we can’t meet in person since we’re half the world away lol) I do understand that sometimes I won’t get any messages from him bc he’s at work and I have other things to do too (given the time difference also, it’s hard to adjust). Well, it was a good start and he’s to straightforward. I told him I’m not ready for a relationship yet (bc of my previous, aka 1st relationship ever didn’t ended good) and he said he’s be okay with it, and that he’ll “wait”. I like him and I want to make things slow (and know each other well first) and we both agreed to it. We even talked about meeting each other someday.
    But I did not know where else I have gone wrong. He hasn’t contacted me for weeks and it makes me crazy. He sees my messages but does not reply. I guess he just needs time to realize his feelings or idk lol maybe I’ll just keep him in my heart for now. ?

    1. Hi Kaye,

      I don’t know what you’re saying in your text to your guy but a Cancer man needs to know you like him but you have to show him that you do, not just say it. Send cute texts telling him you’re thinking of him. He’ll appreciate it. Ask him how he’s doing. You caring about his welfare will make him feel good. Keep it light and easy. If he does like you, he will come around. If he doesn’t then you will know when he doesn’t ever respond. Give him a little time and patience. You may want to check out my book for more help. It’s called “Cancer Man Secrets”.

  7. I taught the relationship was good until this afternoon I saw him posting pictures of other woman on whatsapp. I asked him why his doing that instead of apologizing he said I should stop being aggressive.

    1. Hi Elethu!

      Either your guy is fed up with stuff over time or he’s deflecting. If he’s deflecting then it’s because he doesn’t want to answer to you therefore he tries to make you feel like you’re the one in the wrong. Try approaching him with a cool head and tell him that it’s not nice and makes you feel like he doesn’t want you when he posts pics of other women. If he still acts as though you’re the one with the problem then he may actually want to break up. Talk to him the way I suggested and you’ll find out. Good luck!

  8. I have known my cancer man for four years. My husband and I have a small ranch and he always came by to help with things.
    My husband died suddenly and this Cancer has been a rock for me. I am so great full for him being there for me.
    I have feeling that have grown for him now. It’s been 6 mos since my husband passed. Plus my husband and my relationship was not the best. We didn’t have sex for about 10yrs. I am 60 and my cancer is 49.
    I told him I am going to Costa Rica and he is going with me. I don’t know if he likes me more than a friend or not.
    I am scared to ask him. He calls me everyday and is so sweet. He stops by unexpectedly and does like it when I go to his house. He has cooked for me and I cooked for him. He is the better cook! LOL
    What do you think will happen in Costa Rica, I am scared to make the first move because I am older, ( he says I am not that old). What do I do? I really like him a lot. I would love to start something, but not hot and heavy yet.

    1. Hi Laura Taylor!

      I am very sorry for your loss sweetheart. I am glad that someone has been there for you through such a difficult time. It’s no wonder you’ve grown so fond of the Cancer guy. Wow Costa Rica together. That sounds like it could definitely open up the doors for talks to develop something more. I’d say go and enjoy yourself and go with the flow. You can slip in one of the conversations that you would like to get a little closer with him if he’d be up for it. That will let him know you want to be more than friends. If he feels the same, he will take you up on it and show you a really good time while you’re both on this vacation. If you need more information on Cancer men, check out my books on Cancer Man Secrets.

  9. I’ve been dating my cancer man for a year. We started off slow & progressed into a relationship. About 9 months in he was in a bad car accident & almost died. That was when he first told me he loved me. Suddenly we were together 24/7 as I became his full time caregiver for the 3 months he took to recover. I stayed at his place to look after him & do all his day to day tasks & help him with meals, bathing, all self care. After 3 months I moved back to my place & tried to give him space because I knew that’s what he wanted & needed. It was hard for me but I tried not to go over there as much. Things were going OK. He even took me on a sweet date when I was stressed with work. Then the last couple weeks he started acting off. He got very quiet & just wasn’t himself. It was like he was struggling inside but kept in all in. He wouldn’t talk about it to me or anyone. Then  we had an argument & he just stood there silently & wouldn’t say anything. I was upset & asked if he still loved me & he shrugged his shoulders. Then he started to yell & told me to get out. I left & he stopped talking to me until a few days later when he said I could stop by to drop off something for him. I get to his place & there’s a not on door saying he’s not home & to put my keys under door & most of my stuff was in the hall for me to take. He blocked my number, his family & one friend won’t talk to me. It’s been almost 3 weeks & he still has some of my stuff, I still have his keys . He won’t talk to me about returning the stuff or anything. I still have some paperwork from when I was looking after him that he needs & he won’t even respond to an email about that. Should I try reach out to him?

    1. Hi Lindsay!

      That is frustrating and I’m sorry you’re going through that. I think that you deserve closure on why he’s decided to do this. Remind him that you did these things for him out of the goodness of your heart so it hurts you that he’s able to just brush you off so easily. You really do deserve to know what his problem is and if I was you, I would be trying to find out. You need to know whether there is hope or if you need to move on. Get ahold of him sweetheart. I wish you all the luck of the stars!

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