Ignoring a Cancer man is probably one of the worst things you can do to him. With some guys, the “no contact” rule works, but if you are planning on working things out with your Cancer man, I wouldn’t advise it!
A Cancer man is a bit of an attention whore. This means that he thrives on adoration, compliments, and attention. If he doesn’t get it; he gets to be his true “crabby” self. So, if you give your Cancer man a silent treatment, it will drive him crazy.
Though Cancer man is quite nurturing and helps others through trials and tribulations, he can sometimes be quite selfish or narcissistic. I know that sounds odd but Cancer men are needy when it comes to personal time with their partners.
So, if you’re thinking about ignoring a Cancer man, then think again. Don’t know what to expect when you ignore a Cancer man? Well, keep on reading to find out, because this is what happens when you ignore a Cancer man…
No Contact Rule With A Cancer Man — Does It Work?
While it’s healthy to blow your Cancer off a little bit in order to show him that it’s not alright that he does it to you, it could backfire if you do it a little too much or too harshly.
You never want to be mean or blow him off entirely. If you do, he could very well decide that you’re just not that into him and walk away. When he really loves someone, he’ll fight for them first.
However, if it’s early on in the relationship and he’s not 100% invested yet, he’ll have no trouble figuring out that the person he’s seeing isn’t for him, and he’ll keep walking on to find someone else.
Be very careful of how you proceed when it comes to ignoring your Cancer guy. It takes a delicate approach to handle him in a way that will get his attention without giving him the impression you’re done with him.
If it’s been a short-term relationship so far, you may just want to hold off on texting back right away, but don’t go several hours or days; otherwise, he will get the impression he’s not important to you.
In the case that you’ve been with him for awhile and know him well, you can easily put him off longer, knowing he’ll be back around or desperately trying to show you he loves you.
Naturally, if you’re in a long-term committed relationship with your Cancer guy and he’s being a turd, by all means, blow him off and let him work for your time or attention.
Read also: Are Cancer Men Possessive? Find Out Here <<
What Happens When You Ignore A Cancer Man
Due to the fact that a Cancer man doesn’t like being ignored, if he feels you’re doing that to him, he may retaliate by ignoring you when you feel ready to talk to him again.
If not, he may do other things to get your attention, including flirting with other women in front of your face, on social media, or via text message, just to ensure you know that he can move on at any time.
The Cancer man takes being ignored very seriously. This isn’t something you really want to test unless you’re willing to lose him. Of course, if you’re only ignoring him for a very short time, then revenge may not be a factor.
Typically, he will react this way if you’ve been holding out on him, not talking to him, or blowing him off for days or weeks. Hours are short-term and not normally something that would send him off the deep end.
It’s actually better for you to just tell him you’re upset with him, why, and what you intend to do. That way, if you intend on taking a week off for yourself, he knows why and what you’re doing.
The last thing you want to do is go totally cold. He’ll definitely take that to mean that you’re done with him, which will cause him to be dramatic, and he’s really good at being dramatic when he’s upset.
Watch this video and learn how Cancer men react to being ignored:
Read next: Is Your Cancer Man Using You? Check here for the warning signs a Cancer man is playing you
Should I Ignore A Cancer Man If He Ignores Me?
The truth of the matter is that a Cancer man is a bit of an attention whore. This means that he thrives on adoration, compliments, and attention. If he doesn’t get it, he gets to be his true “crabby” self.
When a Cancer man doesn’t get the attention of his woman, he really becomes a mess. If he’s been acting up or not responding well to you, ignoring him could make him take notice.
Sometimes it’s all about him, and he’ll live life as though everything is all right with you. He may not even realize how much he’s been ignoring you or not giving you the attention you deserve.
When this happens, a little bit of giving him some of his own medicine could be what he needs to give him a “wake-up call”. I cannot guarantee this will work with every Cancer man, but most of them will respond to being ignored.
Try going days without texting him the next time he starts shrugging you off and see what happens. He’ll likely frantically call or text you as though he’s already lost you, even if he’s not.
He’s not good at chasing at the beginning of the relationship, but if he really cares about you and your adoration, especially if you’ve been really good to him, he’ll be absolutely terrified of losing you.
Struggling to understand his signals or not sure what to tell him so your relationship can go to the next stage? Then don’t miss out on my Cancer Love Language guide… As soon as you start to speak his language, everything else will fall right into place.
Will A Cancer Man Come Back If You Ignore Him?
If he doesn’t break it off, then he’ll keep doing things behind your back until you finally have enough and do the breaking up yourself. Either way, it started with you ignoring him thinking you’d get more of his affection.
When you want more attention or affection from your Cancer man, you need to be totally honest about it and ask him for more. You also need to be showing him the same type of emotion otherwise he’ll feel it’s one-sided.
A Cancer man will always appreciate vulnerability and honesty. He doesn’t like being lied to or being tricked into a certain behavior. If you want something from a Cancer man, just come out and ask him directly.
He’ll do anything for the woman he loves, so there really isn’t any point in you acting shady in the first place. Just say what you need from him and I promise he’ll be all too happy to oblige. Playing mind games with a Cancer man is not the way to do it.
Here’s more about Cancer man turn offs <<
Don’t ever take a Cancer man’s loyalty and love for granted. Ignoring him makes him feel that exact thing and he won’t think twice before finding someone else who will give him what he craves.
Cancer men can be rather temperamental and emotional. It’s not a wise idea to ignore him at any point in time. Talk to him, tell him the deal, and do what you have to do but don’t ever go cold.
He’ll think the worst and he won’t want to invest any more in you. He can move on very quickly and fall in love just as quickly with someone else. Unless you want to lose him, you had better open up rather than pull back.
Will Ignoring A Cancer Man Make Him Chase You?
To get a Cancer man to chase you, you’ve got to be sweet, caring, stable, give him his space when he wants it, and not always be available. I touched on that before but it’s really important that you understand this or else this Cancer man is just going to play hard to get.
A Cancer man once committed will want to spend more time WITH you than WITHOUT you. However, in the beginning, he’s going to want to still be his own man and let things evolve over time.
It typically doesn’t take too long for a Cancer man to start chasing the woman whom he thinks is “the one.” As soon as he realizes you’re everything he could ever dream of, he’ll be sprinting after you so there is no point in you ignoring a Cancer man.
Show him your generous nature and how amazing you are. That’s all that’s really required here. Be your normal self and show him who you are on the inside. He wants a woman who is everything.
By everything I mean empathetic, sweet, caring, and secure. He wants someone he can trust to always be honest with him and yet someone who knows how to speak to his heart.
When he doesn’t speak up, respond quickly enough, or seems to disappear for a day or two, be patient. Don’t think the worst. Just send a text that lets him know you’re thinking of him and he should come running!
So, Why Ignoring A Cancer Man Is a Bad Idea?
The thing about the Cancer man is that he needs to feel loved, adored, cared for, or desired. If he’s not feeling that way, then he starts to feel less than worthy, insecure, and unsure about himself.
He relies on his partner to provide him with a stream of attention. If he isn’t getting it, then he won’t react well. Think about why you would even ignore a Cancer man in the first place. Is it going to be worth it to pull back from him?
The Cancer guy sometimes pulls the hot and cold routine in which he himself may go cold or not want to talk when he’s upset or in a bad mood. The thing is, he doesn’t like it if his partner retaliates or does something similar.
He has to know that no matter what, he has you and you won’t leave him. He has to have that sense of security that you’re going to stick with him through whatever you two go through.
Even if he really ticks you off, he expects that you will still talk to him and find a way to work through it. He doesn’t like giving space but if you tell him that you need it for peace of mind, he may agree to a short-term space.
Ignoring a Cancer man would not be a good idea. This will certainly trigger his insecurity.
Now you may be wondering, “What do I do with my Cancer man ignoring me?” I’ll cover that for you in the next section, so you can get to know what will work best for you.
What To Do When A Cancer Man Ignores You
I mentioned what Cancer man does when you ignore him. Now let’s flip the coin and see what you should be doing if he’s the one giving you the silent treatment.
Withdrawing is very normal for a Cancer man when he feels hurt, sad, or is on emotional overload. If you’ve done something that upset him and he’s gone into radio silence mode, you’ve got to ramp things up!
What I mean by that is, don’t give him the silent treatment in return or you two will end up being a distant memory. Instead, you need to apologize to him even if you don’t know what you did wrong.
In that case, you actually should ask him what you did wrong so that you can work on it and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Give him attention, love, and adoration, and remind him why he got together with you in the first place.
He may play hard to get for a short time but it won’t last. He really does love to have all that you can offer him and prefers that over silence and not touching each other. Give it a try and see if you can’t break him out of his shell!
This is absolutely what to do when a Cancer man ignores you. Show him you’re not willing to give up on his love! Will Cancer man come back when you ignore him?
He won’t do it if you ignore him long but if it’s short term and not out of malice then yes, he will return to the warmth of your kind heart and loving arms.
Read next: 10 Things A Cancer Man Likes And Dislikes In A Woman
Stop Worrying About Your Cancer Man…
Over the years, I’ve had a lot of my clients send me advice they got from dating coaches. They wanted to know if it would work with their Cancer man.
And I literally wanted to scream with frustration.
Why???
Because most dating advice definitely will NOT work if you use it with a Cancer.
You see, Cancer men are VERY different than men of other signs. And if you use standard dating advice with a Cancer, it can backfire. He might disappear forever and you’ll never hear from him again.
I don’t want that to happen to you.
Especially when it is SO easy to draw him to you and get him to connect deeply with your heart.
You just need to know the specific phrases to tell him <<
So he’ll NEVER want to lose you. He’ll be wrapped around your finger… And it won’t take him long to put a ring on that finger either.
These phrases are the EXACT thing you need to turn everything around with him.
So… for heaven’s sake… DON’T listen to normal dating coaches! They give out the same advice for ALL men… which is absolutely insane.
Because your wonderful Cancer is NOT like other men… at ALL.
So go here now to find out the specific things your Cancer man needs to hear to melt his heart.
Wishing you so much love and happiness.
Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,
Anna Kovach
The Cancer man in my life is self-absorbed and emotionally and verbally abusive. He also was physically abusive, so good to know I will no longer put up with it. I may not be adequate to him but I did try to help him in his life. The morning before his meltdown, I wrote an essay for his class. He takes it for granted and ended up treating me horribly. I am free and moving on.
Hi AM!
Thank you for writing in. I’m so very sorry you’ve had a bad experience with a Cancer man. Rest assured, they are not all like this and I certainly hope you don’t throw in the towel on this sign from one bad seed. You’re right, you are free and you can find the love you’re looking for sweetheart! I wish you the best, always.
I am finally about to leave a relationship with an emotionally and verbally abusive cancer man. I was happy and normal and confident when I met him, and after consistent but (at first) subtle emotional abuse, I woke up one dat and realized I was depressed and full of anxiety. After researching, things like the cold shoulder and withdrawing love for punishment, done consistently and in patterns are signs of emotional abuse. Becareful when you see someone you love manipulating you and playing games.
Hi Mena!
If he is verbally and emotionally abusive then yes by all means, get the heck out of there. It sounds like his own self esteem is so horrible that he projects those insecurities on you. That’s not good. I’m glad you woke up and realized the truth. Not all Cancer men are like this though darling. Learn more about Cancer man by reading my book “Cancer Man Secrets”.
Hi I’ve been with a cancer men for 7 months when together we was really really happy now he left me but still in contact if I pressure him but he doesn’t want me anymore I love him so much is been a week it hurts what do I do please help someone?
Hi Mariana!
Back off from him for awhile and let him miss you and chase you. If he doesn’t then he didn’t really care as much as he said he did. Then you will know it’s time to let go. Test him first and see how he responds to you backing off. He just may come knocking on your door! Learn more about Cancer man by reading my book “Cancer Man Secrets”.
Hey!
I have just started a new relationship with this cancer guy couple of months ago and i am a cancer woman. He was very warm and excited in the beginning but i was very careful and scared of his excitement as he looked too good to be true. My attitude was bit cold in the begging.
He wanted to meet me every day but I wasn’t very sure as I hardly know him. Now he feels very distant and quite. He doesn’t call or text but when i do he replies. He wants to meet me every now and then and when we see each other he is very warm and intimate but when I leave he doesn’t text or call or keep any kind of contact. Its really frustrating as I think he is not much into me. Should i carry on with this relationship or give up on him??
Hi Nina!
I think instead of questioning it and worrying, you should just flat out ask him. Tell him you’re really interested in him and would like to see what happens between you two. Ask him if he is up for getting to know you more. He should be able to tell you if he is or he isn’t which will let you know what to do or not do next. You cannot get around this unless you just decide on your own to give up. I don’t think you should though until you get some answers. Ask him! You can also check out my book on “Cancer Man Secrets” if you need more tips.
So I met a Cancer man about six months ago and from the door his demeanor reminded me of another relationship that I was in when I was younger with a different emotionally abusive man. Flash forward I was correct and from the looks of things this is a character trait from this sign if we are all saying the same thing. Never apologized for anything, everything was my fault, lots of manipulative mind games, anytime I had an issue he never wanted to listen but wanted to talk me to death for hours about him, his goals, his emotions blah, blah, blah. After months of taking it slow asked him about a commitment and he said he was not ready to commit so I left it alone, stopped all contact and moved on. Yet a week later he text me like the conversation never happened. All happy smiley faces. So is this where I take the advice and play games because that’s all it seems like to me.
Hi Dannie!
Sadly it sounds like this guy is a bit of a narcissist. He projects what he feels deep within himself to make someone else for it instead of taking the responsibility for himself and his actions. Not all Cancer men are like this though sweetheart. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with what you have so far. If you feel it’s games then step away. Your intuition is telling you something. Learn more about the Cancer man by reading my book “Cancer Man Secrets”.
I’ve been dating a cancer man for 3 years. I am a Libra. We’ve had a few blow ups where he goes radio silent for a few days and I text/email to get him to speak to me, then finally he comes around and we make up. The past couple weeks he has seemed distant. It’s not unusual for him to barely text over a couple days because of his work, but this time it went on for a couple weeks. He still came over and spent the night on the weekends and never indicated anything was wrong. Things started getting weird on social media. First he stopped commenting/liking my posts. Then deleted a comment of mine saying it wasn’t appropriate for his page, but did allow my other comments on other posts. Then after I commented on a post I see he had liked everyone’s comment but mine. So I took a screenshot, sent it to him and asked why he was being rude. He then blocked me on social media and pretty sure by phone as well. I emailed him and the next day he responded “I’m out”. I emailed again the next day to say I was sorry and hoped he would talk to me. It’s been 2 days since that email with no response. Should I just let it go, give him space or should I reach out again?
Hi AngellKY!
Yep, those Cancers are moody. I’m not surprised. Sounds like he doesn’t want other people or a certain person to know about you as per his social media editing. My guess is that he may be talking to someone else (may not be serious but still…). He decided to block you when you responded to that way as he doesn’t want you on his page anymore looking around. That again makes me think that he may be talking to someone else and doesn’t want her to know about you. He’s ghosting you which tells me that he may be done so it would be wise to let it go and move forward.
I wanted to update…Just as I was starting to move on, he called me out of the blue. He ghosted me for 7 weeks! He did what I knew he would and came back acting like nothing happened. I wasn’t about to let him get away with it! We had several long conversations about what had actually happened. I had done something to upset him, not maliciously, but it was something that, looking back, was extremely selfish and involved his relationship with family. In the weeks following, he was still livid with me and was using social media to passive aggressively hurt me the way I had hurt him.
Once we were able to work through what had happened we started moving forward and decided NOT to be friends on social media (this wasn’t our first blow up that involved social media). I also got up the courage to let him know there were things he did that made me feel insecure in our relationship.
Five months later and things are SO good between us. He really listened to me. In the past, we had kept our kids out of our relationship. He and I met right after my divorce, my kids were very young and confused and his son was a teenager and simply didn’t care. Now he’s invited me to his house and I’ve met his son. We’ve spent time with my family, including my kids. We’re planning a night out soon with his grown daughter, who I’ve also met. We’re also planning a long weekend trip with some of his friends and family. I’m really glad I gave him space and took his call. I’m even more glad that as a result, we finally had real talk about what had happened and about our expectations moving forward.
Hi AngellKY!
I’m so glad to hear that things are going well but keep your radar up for any red flags of him ghosting you again. I think as long as your communication is there, you can make it work and things will go very well. I hope that your long weekend is amazing and that the two of you really make your mark together on the world. I wish you all the very best!
I’ve dated a Cancer man for almost 9 years now.. I’m a Libra. We are on a LDR now, for 6 months already – the longest time we have been away from each other since we were classmates all throughout high school and we went to the same college. So imagine that.. it is hard to see him because of the travel restrictions.. he went away to pursue of his dream career.. He is kinda possessive and jealous (even when he does not admit it) and last week, I went out with our mutual friends. He felt betrayed and sad, he said. So he went on to chat another girl for attention. This isn’t the first time he did this though. 2 years ago, I went overseas for a few months and whenever he feels “hurt” when we fight or get jealous, he seeks someone else but in the end, don’t feel any satisfaction from them. He tends to do this, backfire at me, when we are far away from each other.. now, he says he wants to focus on himself but I guess it’s the guilt eating him up and his pride as a man that he hurt his greatest love bad.. yet he still checks up on me but denies he still cares or I guess he is just concealing his true emotions as he doesn’t want to be controlled by it.. But I know too that Cancers have these “phases” like multiple personalities etc like they are different beings… I already told him that I still want him and that I want us to still give us a chance but right now.. he’s kinda firm with his decision. I guess it’s just easy for him to say that because he misses me and I’m away… he acknowledged this fact… I am trying to apply the NO CONTACT RULE with him.. will it work for cancer men? I’m afraid he’d think I’m no longer interested and pursue someone else.. 🙁
Hi Jessica!
Here’s the thing about “no contact”… if a man really cares deeply for you, he won’t let the lack of contact deter him. He will pull back to you and want more again. With Cancer men in particular, allowing him to chase you is more effective than you chasing him. It could be a test for you both. Not reaching out for awhile will make him miss you if he does truly care. If he doesn’t and isn’t interested then he won’t try to pursue you. He’ll easily let go and move on. It will give you clarity though and you’ll know whether you need to move on or hang on. If you would like to know more about Cancer men, check out my books on Cancer Man Secrets.
Hi cancer man I don’t trust him i feel that he lies or suspicious and his friend kept being us apart telling me that he cheated some of his word were right others were no,he kept saaying that he won’t cheat and he never do something behind my back and he’s changing I can’t trust him again
And exhausted,i began to do as him
Mum didn’t want him for me so she refused our marriage And told him harsh words
Many problems happened and now we have been no contact for 16 days even he didn’t saay happy easter ,he was supposed to delete his fb acc thats full of girls he opened it again and he kept putting status that he has new begging and kept putting love words to make me jealous on purpose ,will The no contact rule bring him back we have been together for a year and never had that long no contact,i felt him so distant and he began to be harsh ..
Hi Jera!
Yikes, once you don’t trust him, it’s hard to get that trust back. It’s hard to prove to you that he won’t lie or cheat without a significant amount of time passing. It sounds like he has no intention on really changing though. I think it’s time for you to focus completely on yourself and stop making any time for him. If he wants to be with you and love you like you deserve then he will clean his act up and come back full force. If not, you’ll be better off doing your own thing. If you’d like to know more about how Cancer men think, check out my book Cancer Man Secrets.
I was with a cancer man for 9mths , im an aquarius , i loved this guy deeply , he kept accusing me of having different men all the time , he was ending things everytime he saw that i liked a post or photo that a bloke put up on facebook , and ive just found out that he is liking womens posts and pictures bit o wasnt allowed to do the same , ive had enough , hes horrible
Hi Tracy!
The reason he kept accusing you was because he was doing something he didn’t want you to know about. Cancer men are good at accusing when they themselves are doing something. They project onto you. It’s not a nice thing to do. Yes, he’s not the one for you sweetheart. Not all Cancer men do this crap though so don’t mark them all off your list. Stay open to love but when bs like this comes up, drop em. Be happy!
Cancer men are the meanest of all zodiac. Life and romantic relationship are all about them and thier needs. They know all mind games and want you to be a slave to their desires.
They will be very sweet when they need you but very cold to your needs. They are extremely moody and want you to wait for their good mood. My guy always cancelled plan to meet at the last moment giving me all stupid excuses. He came only when he wanted for a very short time, forcefully and was never for me whenever I almost begged him. They have a toxic insecure self that they will throw on you. I have moved and God must save them.
Hi Sun!
Meanest? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that from anyone. You must have a rare Cancer man with a bad attitude. I am so sorry that you got a bad seed but not all Cancer men are like this guy thankfully. Insecurity can be found in all signs. It’s a human thing. Try not to cast all Cancer men out because of your bad experience. Some of them are the most amazing people you could ever meet! I wish you all the best!
Hi Anna,
What a great page you have here. But boy oh boy are cancer men predictable and unpredictable.
I’ve been w my cancer man (I’m a Sadge) for 7 years in and off. I’m saying that we have spoken every single day for that time however 2 times I’ve been blocked for 2 months due to me being too harsh w my words and him thinking I don’t give a sh*t about him. It has been very exhausting at times as I like to just get in with it and live a stress free life, with a companion who is not as dramatic. Other parts of our life has been brilliant, when we are good we have a ball, but these moods of his are horrendous! Every time he gives me the silent treatment (we are in one now for almost a month). Im blocked from trying to call him directly but have access to him on messenger. I tried to reach out to him yesterday asking if he was still ‘angry’ at me but he never responded. It frustrates me so much but have no choice but to just move on with my life like he doesn’t exist! It’s so draining for me and this toxic pattern of his! It’s like walking on egg shells at times not knowing how he will react! HELP!
Hi Anna, just hoping to gain some clarity and relieve some frustrations regarding the cancer guy I have in my life.
We work together and started an exclusive casual relationship (nothing sexual tho),but I have pulled away a few times because casual is not my thing and I even offered him more and said I was open to getting to knowing him slowly so we can have something where we both feel loved and secure, even though I had my own insecurities about him and his many girl friends, I would politely address it,
It’s been almost 2yrs off n on and we both like each other and have not been with other people or so he has said. Mind you during that period he has delayed texting me..tried mind games etc..
We decided to be friends because we both want different things but yet he still flirts and in convo he uses terms like he’s interested and he likes me ‘that much’ even now he is much more open, I feel like he is a better friend than love interest. So once again I took the opportunity when he tried to flirt to ask him more about how he felt about me to see if I was more than a friend to him…but he said he likes me but not the way I am thinking which Is ‘like like’…so then I asked him openly if I am a woman he can take home to his parents given the facts (we are 10yrs apart, different religions, different education etc and he said ‘probably not’ because we are ‘too different for things to make sense’ atleast at this point’ Is this where I move on or is he still being protective of himself? Do you think he is interested in more and just scared or is he being truthful and I should let go?..because now my intention is to ignore him and move on, he quite clearly isn’t interested as much as I am and it’s hurting to hold on, I can’t do the games and ego stroking anymore, all I want is love. I just do not understand how a cancer guy who feels deeply according to you can ‘like or be interested’ in a woman for 2 years and not love her or want more..I have been respectful and kind, yeah I have made mistakes but I have always apologized etc, in my mind I am a catch for that zodiac lol(Pisces btw) it makes me think he is playing me. I must add he does not ask any personal questions at all..so for him to say we are too different I don’t know how he can determine that without even knowing details about me. Your insight would be very much appreciated
Hi Summer!
I think you have to take him at his word for now. Try maybe holding on to a friendship and rebuilding otherwise you’re going to have to let go entirely. If he truly cares or loves you, he will be back after he goes on his own. He may figure out that you’re the right one or you’re the best for him even if there are differences. Sometimes without you, they see things better. You’re right, you are a catch and you deserve the best! Don’t settle if you don’t have to.
Hi Anna,
I’m a Pisces woman, dating a cancer guy for about five months now… The relationship has gone pretty textbook up until now… He was moving slowly, waited to introduce me to his family, and after he did, he sent a message when I got back home saying “my family loves you, and so do I” so we move on to the next level of our relationship, it’s been amazing, he comes over and cooks for me, buys me gifts, is constantly texting and calling….
Then….. He came over for a weekend, and I asked him if we could go public with our relationship on social media…. He hesitated, and asked me why. I said, I wanted people to know that we are together now, that we are taken (he has a lot of female admirers) he still hesitated, then gave me a compromise… I could change our relationship status, but absolutely no pictures of us together, only if they are pictures of us in a group. I was pissed off, so I didn’t do it. I wasn’t going to force something he was hesitating on. I kind of spent the next two days keeping him at arms length, going over our conversation in my mind. Then he posted a picture of me on his whatsapp status. I dont know how happy I was about that, because honestly I think he just changed the privacy settings so that I was the only one who viewed it, and I think he posted it because he sensed me pulling away and needed to get my attention again. On social media, he was still liking other girls pics, which irritates me to the ends of the earth, because one girl in particular, I went back on the history of her photos and this is a girl he used to flirt with outrageously….
Anyway, fast forward two days later, I get a very generic text message from him in the morning, and then….. Nothing. He goes the whole day and night without another word. I text him the next day, asking if everything is OK, and he says that he’s sorry, but he had a really bad day, and we’d talk about it that evening. So I said OK, I’d really like that. He then says he misses me so much (we’re in a semi long distant relationship, and we both work ALOT, so we only really see eachother every second weekend) and I said I missed him too. Halfway through the day, he calls me at work, to say he just wanted to hear my voice and tell me he loves me, and I asked if everything was OK with him. He said yes I’m fine, I said well it doesn’t feel like it, but you can talk to me about anything…. He said we’ll talk later that evening. So I get home from work, and let him know I’m home, and that was last night.. This morning my text is still unread….
My whole thing is that ever since I asked if we could go public with our relationship, he’s been blowing hot and cold air, and it’s driving me insane. Is this guy confused, or what? Is he trying to decide if I’m worth going public, or worth making happy?
I sent him a message when I woke up this morning saying I really don’t know what’s going on with him, so I’m just trying to give him some space, but that at some point he’s going to have to start talking because I don’t like the way this whole thing is starting to make me feel. I haven’t had a response yet, but he’s probably still sleeping so I’ll wait to see…. But I’d really like some insight into why he suddenly seems to be confused about what he wants, or why he wants to keep things private.
Hi Cherise!
Oh boy… you know… this sounds more like a Libra but it would seem they do the same thing. Since you two are semi long distance, he doesn’t feel 100% secure about the relationship. It’s silly but until he feels totally solid, he’s going to drag his feet. Another thing is he wants the attention from other women even if he’s not “with” them. They can be attention whores sometimes. They feel good when a woman flirts with them. I’d say until you two are living together, he’s going to be weird about this. When you’re there he cannot deny it and will be more willing to change his status. He may be indecisive but I stand by what I just advised you. If you need to know more about Cancer men, check out my guides on Cancer Man Secrets.
Hi Anna,
I am a Virgo women who was dating a Cancer man. Despite what I’ve heard about Cancers being communicative and emotional this man was the exact opposite. He barely talked and never really talked about his feelings unless I pulled it out of him. We were in a LDR (well more so getting to know each other) but have been on several trips together. In person he held my hand and we always had a great time together. We are from the same city but I live in a another city and was coming home for the holidays. I asked him if he wanted to pick me up and his response was “i guess”. I am very communicative, vulnerable, and direct but kind and let him know how I felt about him saying I guess when asked to pick me up from the airport especially after not seeing each other for weeks. I told him that I asked him because I wanted him to be the first person I saw when I landed and that him saying I guess doesn’t make me feel like he cares. I proceeded to tell him that he needs to be more expressive sometimes but in his own way and that the way I reassure him and show him I care doesn’t have to be his way. He told me that he doesn’t mind showing that he cares but he doesn’t like being told or forced to do so. So I told him, that moving forward, I won’t be initiating anything because now, I feel like when I say things like I miss you or can’t wait to see you etc…he is only saying it back because I said it first. He told me I made the situation bigger than what it was but as much as I care and show I care, him saying to me “i guess” when asked to pick me up from the airport hurt my feelings. Its only been two months and i never pressured him for a relationship but I did want to know what direction we were heading in. His exact words were “thought we were friends getting to know each other, having fun, etc… and maybe1 day possibly being in a relationship. I don’t know if its going to lead to that. I know I don’t want a serious relationship right now. Was going with the flow. I don’t like to rush things its only been 2 months.” So my response was “I never tried to rush things with you. I was enjoying getting to know as well but It sounds as if were not on the same page with the direction of where we want things to go.” He responded with “maybe so” and I haven’t responded since. That was about 2 days ago but he has watched every single one of my IG stories. I mean to the point where its only been up for 3 mins and he’s one of the first ones to view it. Like what is his deal? I never pressured him for a relationship, ever! But I did tell
Him that I don’t have an interest in a situationship, that I am dating with intent therefore if he doesn’t see this going anywhere its best that he lets me know. And what i wrote above was his response. His message to me sounded like he just wanted to have fun with no intentions for anything more. Please give further insight l. Also what is the deal with him viewing all of my stories?!
Hi Karen!
He sounds very confused sweetheart. He wants you and wants to be with you but he’s terrified of commitment even though you’re not pushing for it. I think you’re doing the right thing by not reaching out and not making time for him at this point. He has to do the work if he wants to be with you. If he only wanted to have fun with no intentions then letting him go is probably the right path. You deserve better. Viewing all your stories is because he’s trying to figure out what the heck he wants. Let him figure it out and chase after you otherwise, you keep doing you! I wish you all the best!
Hi Anna,
I was casually meeting a cancer man for a few weeks and it went really well. We talked a lot and had a good chemistry. However, something happened and he blamed me for it, saying that I betrayed his trust. He said that we could still talk but he doesn’t want the same arrangement anymore. A week after the incident he started seeing someone new. He did say that he missed our times together. I have grown attached to him despite the casual arrangement and would like to restart things again with him, but he’s not keen. It’s been 10 days now that we haven’t been in contact. Do you think there is no hope with him?
Hi Alexa!
I hate to say it but it sounds like he’s already moved on. He may miss the good times with you but he’s not willing to be more. If a Cancer man thinks you’ve betrayed his trust, he will definitely shut down to you. I think for now you need to go ahead and move forward on your own path and focus on your life. Maybe later he’ll actually miss you enough to come back around asking you for more than a friendship arrangement. If not then you may meet someone who wants an actual relationship with love. I wish you all the very best!
Hi Anna!
I’m a Capricorn woman who has been seeing/dating a Cancer man for the past 6 months. When we first met, we slept together. We started seeing/dating each other. The whole 6 months, I felt like it was mostly about him. He only had lengthy conversations with me if it was about his life. I would stay the night with him off and on and he was very caring. He would make me breakfast in bed, cook, do little things for me. Well 2 weeks ago, we went to the movies. Everything was going great. I made the mistake of tagging him with me. He just found out he has an 11 year old daughter. His daughter’s mom was blowing his phone up. He came back and ignored me the whole night. The way back to his house, not one word from him. I left and the next day I reached out to apologize. He ignored it and left me on read. The following day, I reached out again and he sent me voice messages that he was hurt, disappointed and frustrated. He told his daughter he was going to be home resting so his daughter got upset that he lied. He said he wasnt going to block me or anything like that but he just cant be around me right now. That was a week ago. I have reached out everyday, hoping he would respond but hes just left me on read. I dont know whether to just leave him alone and hope he comes back or to move on. I feel like if it was over he would just delete me and block me but he hasnt. I also should mention that he works at my gym so i see him pretty much every day. He makes it a point that i know hes avoiding me. Help. Im lost and dont know what to do
Hi Kay!
Oh boy… alright the thing you need to know here is…. THIS ISN’T about you. It’s about him, his ex, and his daughter. This is all life altering and yes, he’s overwhelmed, hurt, and confused. He cannot juggle things right now until he can get his head straight. That’s why he can’t be around you right now. You didn’t do anything that was so awful that he’d leave you out of his life sweetheart. This is all about what he’s going through himself and it’s overwhelming enough to not be able to put focus on his relationship with you. Just leave him be for awhile. Talk to him when you can but don’t talk to him like all is normal. What I mean by that is offer your support if he needs anything and don’t ignore him if he does reach out. If he’s avoiding you then let him. It’s a coping mechanism right now for him. At some point he will get his thoughts together and he will want to talk to you. When a man loves you, he will always return. I wish you the best!
HI Anna. Its been a month now. He has slowly started talking to me. Hes no longer at my gym. He was moved to another one. Hes been talking more to me but mostly about his work. We havent seen each other or spoken about his life or my life. Ive noticed hes watching my stories more and it seems like hes finding a reason to talk to me. Whether its about his work (the gym) or him asking me about a competition Im in at the gym. I saw him for the first time in 2 weeks at his new gym. My friend went to join and went to speak to him. She wanted me to go with her so I did. I was nervous and figured he would just ignore me as he was doing at the other gym (the one I go to), but he didnt. He made small talk and said I looked great and he proceeded to message me right after we left, thanking me for bringing my friend by. Progress is progress I suppose. Thank you for response and I will continue to do as you say and not ignore him but also not reach out and give him his space. I do still care for him and this time apart, I’ve been able to put more focus into myself and my progress in my weightloss/health journey.
Hi Anna,
I have been in a r/s with a mature in age cancer man for 14mths now. 2 mths into it, he felt we were not on the same page in the bedroom and called it quits. I changed and in the following month we started talking and improved all of that in the r/s. The brk up then was dramatic, he left me in a foreign country and i was alone flying home. But he came to where i was in 4 weeks and we made up. Has been 90% good since i felt, some disagreement but generally we always say we love each other, appreciate one another and my action always show him i love him.
Recent 2 months, because of work we have both been more on edge. I admit i could have neglected him in msgs and conversations a little and less physical contact since we are apart. And when together our living habits are different leading to some disagreement. Anyway mon we had a blowup. I felt he could have been more caring in the senario, he said he wanted someone mature enough to handle everything and the way i asked him to help in something at home sounded like how his exwife was in being calculative towards him.
Anyway next day he drew the conclusion and said given i m like that he sees that it would end bad like his past. I tried to explain to him it was one bad day and truly i wasnt like that at all previously. Anyway i asked if he still loves me and he say he doesnt know. Yesterday he proceeded to close our joint acct. He said he needed space away from me (he does has a lot on his plate – work and kids related at the moment).
I have always been supportive of him through the year but been stressed myself for 2 months.
Is he ending it for good? I sent him a msg yesterday to say i respect his need for space and will become the better partner he deserves.
He is going overseas next week for more than a month and may be station elsewhere after.
* just last week we were still telling wach other loveydovey stuff and appreciating each other. What should i do? Do they breakup frequently in relationships?
Hello,
I’m a libra and I met a cancer man 8 months ago. We’re both married to other people. We didn’t set out to have this emotional affair but we grew very fond of one another as time progressed. About a few months in, he was caught by his wife. 2 months after tension died down at home, he came back to me and said I was worth the risk of him getting caught and that he cares about me. At month 7, he started being distant after a serious conversation I had with him. Eventually he told me he couldn’t communicate at the moment and probably wouldn’t be able to respond to text messages again. It’s been 7 weeks since we’ve seen one another and 6 weeks since we’ve communicated. He tried getting my attention one day in a parking lot but I ignored him, got in my car, and drove off because I wasn’t ready to talk. I tried approaching him a week later and he ignored me back. Was he just taking advantage of me for his emotional needs? I know I should give this up for obvious reasons but I really thought we had a connection. In fact, I deemed him as my twin flame. But maybe it was nothing from the beginning.