There are certain signs a Cancer man is playing you. These men can, at times, be rather psychic or empathic. He’s certainly in tune with his own intuition, and he uses it to help him discern other people’s intentions. But with my knowledge, it is pretty easy to figure out how to tell if a Cancer man is playing you!
Your head may be spinning with confusion because you have a feeling that the Cancer man you are dating is just playing games with you. You just want answers to understand him better and to either keep going or to let him go.
There are definitely some signs a Cancer man is using you and tests that he puts his partner through. This is probably what is going on with him right now. Don’t worry! You are way too smart to fall victim to this and I am here to help you out – beat him at his own game!
Let us unpack all the signs and see if a Cancer man is playing you and leading you on. It is better to know these things than being left out in the dark. Knowledge is power, and there is a lot you can do with this information.
You need to figure out what he is up to and I can definitely help you out! Here are some things you can look for in order to determine what may be going on. Make sure you read all the way until the end.
Warning Signs A Cancer Man Is Playing You
1. He Spends More Time Alone Than With You
Cancer man loves to cuddle and be close to someone. If you find that he tends to want to spend more “alone time” or has other plans all the time, he’s likely to use you when it suits him.
He may also be seeing other women in which case he will try to squeeze you into his busy schedule whenever he can but don’t expect him to come spend time with you when you want it.
A Cancer man in love or even in lust will want to spend quality time with the woman he is trying to get closer to. When he’s pulling away and spending very little time with you, it’s a red flag.
Pay attention to his actions and understand that any sign of blowing you off instead of spending time with you shows that he is not into you and likely not going to commit.
Learn more about the possible reasons why Cancer men avoid commitment <<
2. He Stares In His Phone A Lot
If he’s spending time with you but keeps getting loads of calls or texts, this is probably another red flag. Yes, he can be and is likely popular. However, if he’s spending time with you, he’ll ignore it.
If he’s constantly on his phone answering calls or texting people back, he’s not into you and you should probably just throw him out or leave. It’s normal for him to maybe do this later on after he’s already committed and you’ve been together for a long time.
It’s not normal, however, for him to want to interact with so many people while he’s supposed to be with his girl. You’re filling a void in his time but clearly, you’re not a priority.
This also applies to social media. If he’s constantly checking his or replying to people on there instead of talking to you or watching the movie you threw in to enjoy and cuddle with, he’s playing you and not interested.
Do Cancer men cheat? Check here for the key signs that a Cancer man is cheating on you <<
3. He Doesn’t Include You In His Plans
When you notice that the Cancer man stops inviting you to watch Netflix and chill, that means that he is struggling between committing and moving on.
He’s certainly looking into his other life options. Cancer will treat himself as #1 always until he finds a woman that blows him away and shows him that she’s worth dedicating his time to.
When he starts blowing you off or coming up with excuses why he cannot get together with you, he’s trying not to hurt your feelings but is in some way telling you that he’s not really into you and doesn’t want anymore.
It’s a really underhanded way to do things. He should just be honest with you but he doesn’t want the emotional confrontation so he’ll avoid it by coming up with loads of excuses instead.
If you have had enough dealing with his going hot and cold behavior, I strongly recommend checking out my 30-day Cancer Man Love Challenge… It will set you on the right path with your Cancer guy.
4. He Constantly Lies
Cancer men do have a tendency to lie when they are not being the man they claim to be with you. Whether he’s cheating, playing you, or if he’s planning a whole life outside of you, it’s a HUGE sign he’s not “with” you.
If you ever overhear him on the phone embellishing things in his life to make himself look more important or “cooler” to others, you can expect he’s probably over exaggerating about you when he’s not with you.
This could be him talking about how awful and uncaring you are to other women so he can get in their panties. He’ll use it as a ploy to get them to feel sorry for them and make them feel that they can heal him with their love.
If you can see this is going on or feel it: RUN! Seriously! It’s a sign your Cancer man is playing you and he is not committed to you.
Here’s how to know if your Cancer man isn’t being honest <<
Clear Signs A Cancer Man Is Using You For Sex
5. He Is Building Walls Around Him
The Cancer man who is not fully invested with someone will have insurmountable walls that make it quite impossible to get close to him. He knew just what to say to get you into bed but now is jaded.
It could be that he’s got some past pain or experiences that have made him feel this way and is just afraid to get close to someone. However, when he’s using you, he’ll never have any intention at all in opening up to you.
This would be a very standoffish Cancer who only comes to you when he needs you for sex or for a quick ego boost. He may call you up when he has no one else to talk to because he knows you’ll put him in a much better mood.
If you are not a part of his future plans, and when he talks about his plans without having you in them, this is an obvious sign that your Cancer man doesn’t want to discuss the future with you and that he doesn’t see himself in a committed relationship with you.
If you feel that he only calls you when he needs something, he is for sure playing you and not interested in how you feel or what you want. He’s in it for him and only him. Hang up the phone and forget about him!
Related: Cancer Man Confusing Me With His Hot And Cold Behavior — What Should I Do?
6. Cancer Man Just Wants To Hook Up
If he isn’t into you but doesn’t see a future with you, then he’ll have sex with you, get you hooked, then he’ll cut you out and won’t reach out to you for a long time. Once you feel you can move on, he comes back and wants to dive right back into bed.
Naturally, he’ll keep you on that line so that he can call you up and see if you’re up for it. Be very careful if you hear from him after a while of not hearing from him. He probably already has another woman or two on the side. He’s juggling and trying to figure out which one he wants to possibly commit to.
It’s likely he’s lonely or needs a lay, so he wants to reach out to you to see if you’ll bite and give him what he wants. If you do, he’ll just do the same stuff to you all over again.
7. He Is Not Spending Quality Time With You
This is one of the worst offenses that Cancer man does. He has a way of luring you into bed then treating you as though you are only a friend. He’ll tell you things you want to hear in bed and be generous.
If he doesn’t look for an emotional connection in bed, you can be sure he is using you for sex. Otherwise he would have been spending quality time a lot.
He is never supportive and doesn’t get vulnerable with you. He confuses you into thinking that because of the great pillow talk and sexual connection, surely he really likes you and there is a future between you, but Cancer man only wants sex.
I’m sorry to say it, but I’ve had numerous clients that go through this exact scenario and are hopeful he’ll change. He won’t. He doesn’t establish this type of relationship and then grows it into more. It’s just sex for him, a good time.
What To Do When You Discover Your Cancer Man Is Using You?
The best thing to do if you suspect your Cancer man is using you is to speak with him about how he sees this relationship going. An honest and open conversation is what you owe yourself.
Even if he gets pretty evasive and doesn’t show the signs that a Cancer man wants to be committed to you, you need to move forward with your life. He just doesn’t think you’re the one. I know how painful that can be to hear and accept.
You probably just wish that he would be straightforward and honest with you. But instead, it really feels like he keeps messing you around.
Let him know how his behavior is making you feel. If he continues to behave the same way, it is important to have firm boundaries about sex and intimacy. Make it clear that he can’t have the best of both worlds.
If your Cancer man is serious about you, he will appreciate your boundaries and start to take risks to be with you. If he’s not ready, he will try to show mixed signals and then become frustrated if he can’t have it both ways. But don’t change your strategy just because he gets upset and frustrated. Your boundaries will protect you.
Are Cancer Men Players?
Each Cancer man is a little different, but you can certainly learn all you can to help you gain footing with this super sensitive soul. The Cancer man can at times be rather psychic or empathic. He’s certainly in tune with his own intuition, and he uses it to help him discern other people’s intentions.
A Cancer man is in touch with his feelings and so down to earth as to want to hurt other people. Of course, there are exceptions to this fact, so you could say that Cancer may be a player, but not intentionally.
To him, playing somebody is a risky business, and he would not just engage in such manipulative behavior. Again, not all Cancer men are the same, and some of them would use emotional manipulation to get what they want.
How Do You Know If A Cancer Man Is Seeing Someone Else?
As much as Cancer may preach about commitment, he can also be absolutely terrified of it. Cancer men fantasize about happily ever after, but reality is often different.
If your relationship is serious, your Cancer man may be having cold feet, and this is his escape. That doesn’t mean it’s okay, of course. Cheating is never acceptable.
The first sign that a Cancer man may be cheating on you is when he starts avoiding spending time with you. A Cancer man tends to avoid any uncomfortable feelings, and guilt, shame, and fear will definitely be felt when he’s being unfaithful.
If he cancels plans regularly or seems like he’s much busier than usual with no explanation. The less he sees you in his mind, the lower his chances of being found out or confronted, which is his worst nightmare!
What can you do? Well, the next time you do see him, talk about it. You don’t have to be confrontational, as he may be busy or have other things going on that make it hard for him to see you. Be careful about jumping to conclusions.
Read next: Is Your Cancer Man Being Distant All Of A Sudden? Here’s What To DO
Does Your Cancer Man Become Distant After Intimacy?
Does your Cancer man pull away or get quiet when you’ve just had a deep emotional connection? Or does he seem to disappear just when you thought he was getting closer? Have you felt confused by his hot and cold behavior?
If so, then he might have an avoidant attachment style.
He could be Dismissive Avoidant and completely terrified of commitment… Or he could be Fearful, Avoidant and REALLY want commitment… But get scared when he feels himself getting closer to you.
If he has either one of these attachment styles, you’re going to end up feeling extremely confused at times. And both are caused by childhood trauma.
When you can see the scared little boy inside him that had to shut down his feelings if he’s a dismissive avoidant… Or have a parent not provide his needs consistently if he’s a fearful avoidant…
It can make it easier to have empathy and compassion for his confusing and frustrating behavior.
But that won’t fix it.
And while advice on attachment styles can be helpful… What you really need to stop this frustrating hot and cold cycle is to understand him better.
Thankfully, there is a simple system to TRULY understand how he ticks based on his astrology. It will stop him from pulling back when you begin feeling closer. And it will accomplish this in only 30 days.
So no more crying yourself to sleep when he pulls back… No more feeling incredibly confused. And no more wondering what in the heck is going on with him…
Even if he has an avoidant attachment style.
Wishing you all the luck of the universe.
Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,
Anna Kovach
My cancer man give gifts in some occasion and give something to my son too. He cooks and prepare our meal together when I’m with him and prepare my lunch sometimes for work..is he serious with me? Is he ready for relationship or just situationship? Once in a blue moon we go out for lunch..we have not go on a movie date..we already known each other for 5 years now..every year is the same..I saw his phone ringing at almost midnight.last 2 weeks .I saw a lady’s ring on the counter last time I’m with him few days ago. He said that’s from the cleaning lady..so what’s your comment about him and our situation? Thank you for your reply.
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Hi J,
If he’s spending time with you but keeps getting loads of calls or texts, this is probably a red flag. Yes, he can be and is likely popular. However, if he’s spending time with you, he’ll ignore it. When you notice that he is not including you in his plans, that means that he is struggling between committing and moving on.
In other cases, what you described seems like he thinks he is already in the committed relationship with you. Buying gifts, preparing meals, these are all signs that he takes your relationship seriously. The situation with the ring is confusing. Cancer men do have a tendency to lie when they are not being the man they claim to be with you. Whether he’s cheating, playing you, or if he’s planning a whole life outside of you, it’s a HUGE sign he’s not “with” you. Keep your eyes open and let the things play out more.
My cancer man, gave me gifts, he is a lovely man, then out of the blue, phoned me, had a heart to heart with his daughter, said that he don’t want a relationship.
Thank you
Dear Gillian,
I am sorry to hear that but this doesn’t have to mean anything. The Cancer man is typically a very generous and friendly guy. However, when he takes a liking to someone, in particular, he’ll begin to increase his ability to make himself shine.
What I mean by this is that he shows his potential partner lots of attention and affection. Though he is a flirt by nature, he’ll be more intensified toward a woman he wants to have a relationship with. Sending gifts are part of his actions when he is interested. Perhaps giving him time to reflect on this situation will make him change his mind. I hope all goes well for you both!