In a previous article, I approached the pros to dating a Cancer man. Here I will point out some of Cancer man’s flaws and what may turn a woman off. Of course, you can decide what is acceptable if he’s a good man or not.
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Before you weigh the cons of dating a Cancer man, let me add some perspective from experience. In my years as a relationship astrologer I have worked with thousands of women who love a Cancer man, and nearly every difficult trait on this list traces back to one source, his rulership by the Moon. His moods, his guardedness, and his sensitivity are not flaws so much as the price of loving a man who feels everything more deeply than most.
In our survey of over 800 women dating Cancer men, his hot and cold behavior was the single most common struggle, named in more than 300 responses, more than any other complaint. So if his changeable nature has you second-guessing, you are far from alone. The good news is that almost every con below becomes manageable once you understand what drives it. My Cancer Man Secrets guide shows you exactly how.
1. Moody At Times
Because a Cancer man is a very sensitive guy; he can sometimes let his mood be swayed by the way others have been or treated him through the day. He could come home upset or angry.
Naturally when he’s in these not so nice moods; he may say things that are hurtful that he wouldn’t ordinarily be valid. He could arrive home very sad and crying a bit thus needing a gentle touch.
Perhaps someone said something negative to him and it rubbed him the wrong way. Naturally since you’re the person who is closest to him; he could lash out at you even when he doesn’t mean it.
He has no problem apologizing and making amends if this is the case. Just be aware that he often has these mood swings. He can go from being sweet and loving to being an inconsiderate selfish jerk.
2. Addiction Issues
This may not be a commonly known problem but in Astrology; there seems to be an explanation of Cancer being prone to addictions. They can have one or they can have multiple addictions.
This behavior can range from drug use, alcohol consumption, gambling, and even such things as sex. They have addictive personalities and are easily turned on by things that initially make them feel happy and alive.
They can even become addicted to love! As strange as this may sound; they do seem to have problems with moderation. They want to dive right in without understanding the consequence.
If they feel good and what they are doing feels right; they think that there must not be too much harm in it. Then they get wrapped up and before you know it; they’re addicted. They need someone to help anchor them with practicality.
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3. Defensive Stance
Cancer man is the type that does NOT like to be criticized or belittled. No one does really but he absolutely cannot handle it. He will be defensive when you question him about anything.
He’ll sometimes feel you’re analyzing him or grilling him for information. He feels you should just trust him without asking questions. Of course if he’s doing shady behavior; of course there are going to be questions.
He’s also notorious for turning the battles back around on the person who questioned them in the first place. An example would be if you catch him lying about watching porn.
Going at him and asking him about it; he may take offense, lie about it and then turn it around on you. He’ll grill you then about why you would think he would do it and why you’re watching him so much. Suddenly it’s your fault. So watch out!
4. Controlling Issues
Cancer man needs a strong woman who will not be a doormat. Otherwise; he’s going to control the woman he’s with. He likes to manipulate and blow sunshine up people’s rears to get what he wants.
He can get anyone to do just about anything. A strong woman will not allow him to pull one over on him. Just be aware that he could lie at some point in order to get whatever he wants.
It’s possible he can be overprotective of his woman, his wife, and even his children. He wants to know what everyone is doing at all times. He may even try to control small things.
Telling you how to do the dishes, how to eat your food, what not to eat or what you shouldn’t eat isn’t uncommon. He does it out of care but it does tend to come out as control.
The Real Reason a Cancer Man Runs Hot and Cold
Of all the cons of dating a Cancer man, his hot and cold behavior is the one that hurts the most and confuses women the deepest. One week he is warm, attentive, and completely present, and the next he goes quiet and distant for no reason you can name. The explanation lies in his ruling planet. Cancer is the only sign ruled by the Moon, and just as the Moon moves through phases, a Cancer man moves through emotional tides that shift, sometimes daily.
This means his coldness is almost never about you. When a Cancer man pulls back, he is usually protecting himself from feelings that have grown too big, or simply riding a low tide that will pass. In our research, 29 percent of women said the connection felt like it was fading, the highest of any sign, yet with a Cancer man fading rarely means finished. The woman who understands his rhythm and does not panic during the cold spells is the one he consistently returns to when the warmth comes back.
What to Do When a Cancer Man Retreats Into His Shell
The hardest con to live with is the Cancer man’s retreat. When he is hurt, overwhelmed, or unsure, he does not argue and he does not explain, he simply withdraws into his shell, sometimes going silent for days. Your instinct will be to chase him, to demand answers, to fix it immediately. With a Cancer man, that instinct backfires every time, because pressure during his retreat only makes him pull in tighter.
Give him room without withdrawing your warmth. A short, gentle message that carries no demand, letting him know you are there when he is ready, reassures him without cornering him. A Cancer man needs to feel safe to come out of his shell, and safety is something you offer through patience, not pursuit. Hold steady through the retreat and he almost always re-emerges, often more tender than before.
The Con Most Women Never See Coming With a Cancer Man
There is one con that catches almost every woman by surprise, and it is his need for reassurance. A Cancer man can seem strong and self-contained, yet underneath he carries a deep insecurity that makes him crave proof that he is loved and that he will not be abandoned. When that need goes unmet, it can show up as clinginess, jealousy, or moodiness that feels out of proportion to the moment.
The surprise is that this vulnerability is also a doorway. A Cancer man who feels consistently reassured becomes steadier, warmer, and far less prone to his difficult behaviors. Much of what looks like a con is really him asking, in his indirect way, whether he is safe with you. Answer that question with steady warmth and many of his hardest edges soften on their own.
Are the Cons of Dating a Cancer Man Deal-Breakers?
For most women, no. The cons of a Cancer man, his moodiness, his guardedness, his occasional insecurity, are real, but they are also the flip side of his greatest gifts. The same sensitivity that makes him moody is what makes him extraordinarily tender, attentive, and devoted once he trusts you. You rarely get the depth without the tides.
Whether these cons are deal-breakers depends less on the traits themselves and more on whether you understand them. A woman who reads his moods as personal rejection will be worn down by them. A woman who understands the Moon-ruled rhythm behind them can navigate them with far more peace. The cons do not disappear, but they stop feeling like chaos once you know what you are looking at.
How Do You Know If a Cancer Man Is Worth It?
A Cancer man is worth it when the warmth he shows you outweighs the difficulty of his retreats, and when you see genuine effort underneath his moods. Watch how he treats you at his best and whether he returns to that tenderness after his low tides. A Cancer man who remembers the small things, protects you, and keeps coming back is showing you real love, even when his delivery is imperfect.
The times to reconsider are when the coldness becomes constant rather than cyclical, or when his guardedness tips into secrecy and disrespect. But a Cancer man who is simply moody and slow, while also devoted and caring, is often one of the most loyal partners in the zodiac once he feels secure. Only you can weigh whether his depth is worth his difficulty, but for many women it truly is.
I would love to hear your story. Which of these cons are you struggling with most in your Cancer man, and how is it affecting you? Share it in the comments below and tell me what is happening. I read every single one, and I will do my best to help you figure out your next step.
5. Mysterious or Shady
While it’s sexy for a man to be somewhat mysterious at times; the Cancer man comes across as more sketchy. He keeps things to himself that maybe he should mention.
He’s loyal to the woman he commits himself too BUT he thinks flirting is alright as long as it doesn’t cross a line. Most women do not want to think about their man flirting with other women.
He won’t make it obvious or bring it up but there may be times where you can tell he’s being more than nice to the waitress serving you your food. It will be irritating and it may make you angry. He may also draw phone numbers into a collection of women he will likely never call. He loves the attention and he sees nothing wrong with it as long as he doesn’t go overboard.
Other sketchy behavior may be taking or making phone calls that he doesn’t want you to hear. It may just be a relative and is no big deal but he wants the privacy. It makes him look like he’s hiding something.
Cancer men can lie and deceive others. He is also good at omission which is equally disturbing. If you learn his physical behavior; you should be able to tell when he’s being honest and when he’s not. Again; these are things that could be a deal breaker for some women. However; his loving and giving nature could outweigh these negatives. It’s really up to you what you will and will not tolerate for some really passionate love.
It’s probably a very good idea for you to learn a bit more about your Cancer man before you get too far involved. Perhaps it could help you forge a closer bond. Then again; it may turn you off. Beauty and love is in the eye of the beholder. Only you can know for sure who is or isn’t right for you.
If you’re ready to understand more about dating a Cancer man, and if you want to catch him and keep him click here to learn more about Cancer Man Secrets.
Sending Love,
Anna Kovach
