Did you just experience a breakup with a Cancer man, and now you’re not sure what to do? Is his behavior confusing to you? Is he saying one thing but acting a whole other way? There are some things you need to know about this Crab!
Breakups are rough—especially when your ex’s post-breakup behavior is unreadable. It’s normal to be confused by the way he’s acting—or not acting. The Cancer man doesn’t deal with emotions well, and he can be a bit of a mystery. Read on to get inside his head and navigate your post-relationship world.
Cancer’s Most Common Reactions to Being Left
How he acts after you two call it quits depends largely on who did the breaking. If he’s the one to leave, he may act as though everything is fine and all is right with the world. But if you’re the one to call it off, he might fall apart.
These are the most common MOs for a newly dumped Cancer guy.
- He goes silent and withdraws. He might disappear so thoroughly you’ll wonder if he’s still alive!
- He tries to manipulate you into giving him another chance. Emotional blackmail might be his go-to tactic. Be careful!
- He seeks “revenge.” If you hurt him, he may look for a way to hurt you back.
- He asks you to introduce him to set him up with a friend of yours. It’s a way of taking a dig at you and proving that he’s moving on.
- He starts dating someone else—fast. Again, this is about revenge but also trying to move on.
- He acts cool and aloof. But he might be a mess on the inside.
- He indulges in addictive substances, food, or drink. He may even over-indulge in sex. Overdoing things might be a coping mechanism for him.
When He’s the One Doing the Dumping
Cancer men are incredibly clever in manipulating people to get what they want. That includes trying to get you to believe you’re in the wrong.
He might be so smooth that you don’t even realize what he’s doing. He’ll make you feel bad, and before you know it, you understand why he wants to break up with you.
Sometimes Cancer men cheat in order to get caught, then use it to make you think it was your fault because of something lacking in the relationship.
Do you see what I mean? Cancers are good at twisting things to seem like the good guy. He may push you to break up with him to avoid taking responsibility.
He’ll do anything he can to piss you off or hurt you so that you call it quits. That way when anyone asks, he can say he didn’t see it coming, and he’s just shocked and hurt that you broke up with him.
He wants you to be the bad guy—and may even use that victim identity to reel in his next partner.
Will Your Cancer Man Come Back After a Breakup?
Whether or not he’ll come back depends on whether you broke it off or he did. If he broke it off to pursue another woman, then he may try to backtrack and return to you.
He may miss you for other reasons, too—like being reminded of the good times or photos of you two together—and realize he made a mistake.
If you called it off and broke his heart, he will have a hard time trying to make things work again. He won’t trust you, and that will make it hard for him to be convinced things have changed.
If you’re looking to get him back, try bringing up old memories and reminding him what you had together.
In the end, there’s no easy answer to this one. It will all depend on how things ended. It could go either way for the two of you.
Staying Friends After a Breakup
Is it possible to be friends with a Cancer man after you two have ended things? Yes!
The only way he’s going to refuse to talk to you is if you really did a number on him.
If you cheated on him, betrayed him, or hurt him deeply, he’s going to struggle with forgiveness and being able to move forward as your friend. He may also still be in love with you, which could make a platonic relationship very painful for him.
However, it may be that residual love for you that makes him want to be friends because he may see it as a path back into your heart.
He may try to sweet-talk you into coming back, or he may play the heartbreak card. He’ll tell you how down and out he is, how he can’t see his way forward, or even that he doesn’t want to live without you.
He may even try to use those tactics to keep you from breaking up with him in the first place. It’s ruthless, but this is part of the manipulation that he is very good at. Just watch out, and stand your ground if you’re serious about being just friends.
Whatever you do, never agree to be “friends with benefits.” One of you—or both—is bound to get hurt.
Read next: What Happens When You Ignore a Cancer Man – Brace Yourself!
Final Thoughts
You can never truly know what you’re going to get when it comes to a Cancer man and breakups.
How it goes from here depends on how well you know him and how well you two got along. The Cancer man is unpredictable, and his emotions are like a roller coaster.
Handle your Cancer man with great care. If you hurt him, things could definitely go wonky for you. If you proceed with grace, it may not be as bad. At the very least, you may end up with a friend for life.
Fun fact: Sexy MMA star Conor McGregor is a Cancer man. He’s tough on the surface but a teddy bear on the inside!
Did you break up with a Cancer man? What did he do in response? Share your story with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).
Wishing you all the luck of the universe.
Your friend and relationship astrologer,
Anna Kovach
My cancer man moved in with me for the summer and we were together for the summer.
He said that my room gave him nightmares and that he stressed at our apartment.
He has mental illness and drug addiction and he was sober for most of our relationship.
The last week we were together he subtly asked me if I was out with another guy.
My cancer man was very clingy, needy, talked about a future with me, always said us, he was al in, I felt like the center of his universe, he always stared at me like I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and he was so proud to be with me. He always told me I was perfect, so pretty and a good cook I was. He introduced me to his friends and family and I have known his mother since grade school and she is in a relationship with my brother.
We have mutual friends and they all love me.
A week before our breakup I discovered that he was messaging his ex although she wants nothing to do with him. She dumped him three or four years ago.
I was his second relationship.
There relationship was three to four years.
She moved on and had a family.
Her and I messaged and it is clear that she wants nothing to do with him for he was very manipulative and treated her badly.
He treated me like a queen and when we broke up he blocked me on facebook and mobile.
I blew up when he blew my feelings off but he did not know why I had blown up for I had not told him that I had seen his message. I am sure he felt ignored or emotionally neglected when he messaged her.
Whenever he hurt me before by acting mean or rude he always came back and apologized to me hugged me and kissed me on my cheek.
I am a scorpio woman gemini acsending sagittarius moon so my temper is hot and I am very honest and blunt although I try to handle his feelings with velvet gloves.
I can literally feel his emotions but I wish that he would open up more though he was getting more comfortable and settling in for the long haul in the last few weeks before my explosion.
I was so hurt and betrayed that I slapped him on the back of the head like the three stooges and called him some names before I stormed off.
He became cold and distant and only text me to come get his things.
The day after the break up we spoke on the phone and he said he was coming home.
Then he decided not to.
I panicked and pleaded and begged.
He told a friend he could not trust me and that he did not feel comfortable at our apartment.
When I spoke to him in person the first time I kissed him on the forehead and told him that I was sorry and asked if he would forgive me and he said that he would then he just ignored me the rest of the time I was there.
The time after that we met in person at another friends and he said he didn’t want to argue but we never argued because he hates confrontation so he would shut down or run away and then come back.
I asked him if he was coming home and he said no.
Then I asked him if we were done and he said yeah.
I asked if he still loved me and he said he did not know.
I then asked if he wanted me to go outside and he said yeah.
All the while he looked down with sadness.
We hurt each other.
I thought he was the one.
I still feel that he is.
a few weeks went by and he chased me down at our friends and he apologized to me and things seemed fine between us. He left and came back and helped me move some things.
Then he left later that night.
The next night he came back to our friends and he apologized for the things that he had text me and how mean he was and that he wanted to be friends.
But he still looks at me like I am the most beautiful woman in the world and my friend wishes that her girlfriend would look at her like that again.
My friends and I have seen him giving me longing looks.
He is a fearful avoidant and has a trauma bond with his mother who gives him drugs.
His father is absent and his siblings were raised by a relative and they’re doing well.
He has so much trauma.
He suffers from anxiety and depression.
He had separation anxiety with me.
I have a stable, consistent and clam home compared to what he is used to.
I think that caused him anxiety too.
His friends think that he was afraid of me leaving him.
He has a deep seated fear of abandonment and he was so cautious with letting me in.
But it was well worth the wait.
The night we broke up he told his sister that he felt like he was holding me back and that he did not want me to worry about him.
And I never tried to control him because freedom is so important to me but he never wanted to be away from me til the last night.
I was always faithful and loyal and to know that he did not feel comfortable at our apartment or that he did nit trust me cut me to the core.
He had no logical proven reason not to trust me but I do have a reason not to trust him.
Our friends try to get him to come home but he has not come home.
I told him that since he does not feel welcome at my brothers that he can come home where it is safe and there are positive vibes at our home and no drama.
Even his dad is upset with him for messing things up with me for we used to be friends like I am with his my cancer mans mother. Although his clan is rooting for me he seems wishy washy and resilient.
We cannot avoid each other for our friends and family are close knit.
It has been five to six weeks and he has not called, messaged or come home.
Despite my brother and my exs mother arguing and him occasionally having nowhere to go when things go south at my brothers my cancer man has not come home.
He seemed happy that I offered a safe place to go.
Two nights ago we hung out all night and I felt like he and I and our two friends were once again a quad like we were when him and I were together and I felt like we were comfortable together even when left alone.
I felt like we were meeting again and getting to know each other like we did the first time we met.
He said that he liked my nail polish and he looked at me with that look; the one that drew me in in the beginning. That unblinking full attention you are so beautiful look when just a few days before when my friend asked him if he saw us getting back together in the future after all that I did for him and he said he did not really know or see it or not really and that he wanted to be friends I am so confused.
He helped me carry some heavy things and I had him play dress up again like he did when we first met and I giggled and I directed him in what to do when he cleaned my fiends house.
He asked me if I would like to live in our friends hose and that we could put an air conditioner in each window upstairs and he shared that my brother was ignoring him and we shared our thoughts and feelings as if we had never had a fight.
He stayed around even after I fell asleep until my friend told him he had to go home cause we were going to bed.
She said he kept looking over at me and I also caught him staring at me through out t the night.
I feel hope.
I know he loved me but he chased his ex like crazy when she left him and he still is.
But with me he just left.
Is he trying to rekindle things from square one?
Does he want me to chase him?
I showed interest in him and he pursued me in the beginning.
I feel comfortable with him.
What should I do?
I am very patient.
He thinks that he is not good enough and he needed constant reassurance and validation when we were together.
We never fought and he was so happy that people said he glowed!
That I was glowing.
Everyone is so shocked that we broke up and they want us to get back together and know that I am good for him and a good woman.
Dear Hopeful Scorpio,
You can tell him your viewpoint, ask him how he sees this relationship going but ultimately, tell him that you’ll be there for him no matter what he does. This is a very important secret to a happy relationship with a Cancer man. Talk to each other about important things. Make him feel like he’s in control because if there’s chaos in a situation, Cancer will stay away from it at all costs. Once you have his mind, you will also gain his heart. Keep the conversation alive, don’t sound needy. He wants light-hardheartedness in love, no hard talk, no judging and accusations.
Cancer man needs a partner who won’t rush him, who listens without judgment.
I know that you’re naturally loving because you’re here trying to learn how to understand him. He needs to work on his insecurities and whatever holds him down emotionally. He’s unable to give to anyone in the shape he’s in. Even if you try to talk sense into him, he won’t hear it right now. It’s like talking to a brick wall. You won’t get through so give him some space and let him come to you.
Sending Love.
@skorpion pun nade
Posle dužeg vremena ulazim da pročitam nešto o mom raku, i ako sam sve ove redove mnogo puta pročitala i znam mog muškarca od A do Z…Ova noć me instinktivno dovela bas na ovaj tekst i na vaš komentar. U soku sam da vaša priča toliko liči na moju, čitam i gledam mene i mog Raka. Samo što to kod mene traje mnogo duže, 10 god. I svaki put kad se vratimo jedno drugom(ne bitno ko je okrenuo ledja) ja tačno znam svaki korak kako će nam ići veza, sve napamet znam i dalje ostajem tu, svesna… Izgleda da je svaki muškarac Rak isti, nijanse su u pitanju. A ja kao Riba-Devica još emotivnija i slabija od Škorpiona ne mogu da mu se oduprem. Volim ga i on mene, ne razumem mnogo puta njegovo povlačenje i nepredvidivost, ali mislim da je veza sa njim “začarani krug” i već postajem umorna.. Sve češće umorna..
Dear Marina,
You likely have a quite a bit in common. You’re both water signs to start with which makes you actually understand each other better than anyone else can. You are both emotionally equipped and you’re both empathetic.
As a Pisces woman, you understand the Cancer man’s desires, dreams, and goals just as he should understand yours. Both of you are passionate and should be pleasing each other in the bedroom.
While there may be some mild trust issues, you two for the most part are typically fantastic at building up solid trust over time. If you two are new and aren’t at the point of trust yet, you can still work on it!
Communication shouldn’t be that difficult between you two nor should intellectual subjects that allow you two to connect on a cerebral level. You just get each other for the most part.
You are both emotional people so no matter how you slice it, there is no easy way to break it off but if you decide it’s absolutely necessary then you’ve got to bite the bullet and do it.
Don’t beat around the bush and don’t move on with someone else. If it’s not working with Cancer man, end it and THEN meet someone else. Otherwise you risk carrying baggage over to a new relationship.